Always Have
by dinosaurs-rawr-you
Summary: "You could say I've known him since I was in pre-school. Besides from that, I haven't really been close to him for a while." read inside to find out more :3 BxE rated M for later chapters ; Out of character slightly
1. Younger Years

**A/N. Bella: This author is absent but we would like to say…  
Edward: Bella? What are you doing?  
Bella: A disclaimer. Teamseth15 doesn't own anything of this.  
Edward: Then who does?  
Bella: the marvelous Stephenie Meyer, of course.  
Edward: Right.**

**BPOV**

**Younger Years**

I remember when I went to my first day at school it was scary. I was scared of all the kids that were taller then me. They were like giants, and I was the ant. My best friend, Alice Cullen, held my hand as we walked into our classroom. The teacher smiled at us as we entered. The rest of the kids just looked as bewildered as us.

"Hello children. I'm Mrs. K. Welcome to your first grade class. We were just about to start introductions. Please, go take a seat, anywhere you would like." The teacher said. We looked at each other, each as bewildered as each other. There were two empty seats at a table with three other boys and a girl.

The taller boy was baby-faced and had brown curly hair. The blond girl and boy were twins and both had blue eyes and light skin. The last boy had bronze messy hair with brown eyes. They were all talking to each other when we reached the table. Alice was always braver then me, so she introduced herself and me.

"Hi, I'm Alice Cullen and this is Bella Swan." She said, smiling at the others. They turned to look at us.  
"Hi I'm Rosalie Hale, this is my twin Jasper Hale, that's Emmet McCarthy and Edward Masen." The blonde girl said. I smiled back at them and they smiled at me.  
"All right students, now that you have talked to the people on your table, it's time to introduce the rest of the class. I'll start. I am Mrs. K. your First Grade teacher. I like to paint and write. Now we will go around the tables and one person from each of the tables will introduce the rest of that table. Okay anyone want to go first?"

Alice shot her hand up as soon as she asked. Mrs. K. smiled and nodded.  
"Hi I'm Alice Cullen and I like to ride ponies. This is Bella Swan and she is my best friend. The girl next to Bella is Rosalie Hale, who is twins with Jasper Hale, the blonde boy next to her. The two other boys are Edward Masen and Emmett McCarthy." She said proudly pointing to each of us as she said our names.  
"Well done Alice, now Mike, how about you go next." She said to a blonde baby-faced boy sitting on the table next to me.

I moved to middle school with the rest of my grade five class. My class consisted of the same twelve people each time during elementary school. There was Alice, Rosalie, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Mike, Jessica, Angela, Ben, Eric, Tyler and Lauren. I didn't get terribly along with the other six, but my group of six had always been best friends since the day we all met. That was until Grade Seven.

Grade seven was when the hormones were starting in our school. The girls were looking at the guys differently, and the guys were getting teased for there voices and sudden height gain. During the year, Alice and Jasper got together first, at the school dance. That was cute. Later on in the year, Emmett asked Rose to go out with her, and they have been going out ever since. It's cute, but I am constantly feeling like the fifth wheeler.

The other thing that happened during that year was Edward drifted away from the group. He was constantly with a new girl every time I saw him. He became what he always said he wouldn't. He had become the making of a jock. The girls loved him, and he was gorgeous. His hair had gone a darker bronze and his brown eyes had turned into a green colour. His muscles were yet to be defined but I could tell he would be popular in High School. I was always told by Alice that it's just a phase that his going through. He will ask me out sooner or later. Whenever she said that I would deny that I even liked him at all. One day she said this and I just snapped at her.

"Edward is with Lauren today. How exciting. You know what? I miss him sometimes. Hopefully he'll ask you out soon. Then we can all be friends again." Alice piped up.  
"Alice, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't see Edward like that. He was and only will be my friend." I argued with her for the thousandth time.  
"Bella, I've seen the way you look at him. You are so head over heels for him." She argued back.  
"ALICE! I don't LIKE him like that! Can't you get that into your thick head?" I yelled at her. She flinched back.  
"Alice, look I'm sorry, it's just that I'm tired of you saying that we would be perfect together. He clearly doesn't like me in that way. We haven't even talked for a year now. So can you please drop it?" I said more calmly. She just nodded. Our friendship stayed the same but I will never forgive myself for yelling at her over such a stupid thing.

By the time the school dance came up for eighth grade, it was more like a graduation dance. I was asked multiple times to go to the dance by Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie, but turned them down. I was not going to dance, because it was not safe for those around me. Sure I went to the dance. Sure I cried that night because Edward full on made out with Jessica Stanley that night. Luckily there were chaperones to stop them from going any further. Middle School sucked, big time.

Not as bad as what happened in my family after though. My mum and dad divorced, so I moved to California with mum to see what the sun looked like. I lived through it for freshman year of high school, only because mum had enrolled me already. By the end of sophomore year I was ready to move back to rainy Forks. I considered myself to have enough sun for a lifetime. So that made me move back to where I grew up and where I am now. Tomorrow, I'll be back at school with all the same people, this time it will be different though. It has to be now we have grown up a bit. It will be.

**Bella: I think that's it Edward.  
Edward: Oh thank god, I couldn't go through reading it all. It hurt me that I was such an ass to you.  
Bella: You are only human in this Edward.  
Edward: Really? Oh good, because you know I would never want to hurt you right?  
Bella: Yeah I know :)**

**Short Chapter I know, but its just giving you some background info ! Heheh. Please review ;) **


	2. First Day

**Disclaimer  
Bella: Hi there again, teamseth15 would like to apologise about the long delay between chapters  
Edward: Are we doing this again Bella?  
Bella: Yes Edward we are. You are an arse again in this chapter.  
Edward: Bullocks  
Bella: Anyway, sorry for the delay, she doesn't own anything blah blah blah**

**First Day**

Forks High School was, well intimidating, in more than one way. Its big brick walls seemed so cold and foreign compared to the rendered ones of middle school. The size of the actual school was more than little meek me could handle. Fortunate for me I had my best friends by my side.  
"Ah, high school, where girls cake themselves, guys become robots and homework weighs more than you do. Never mind all that though, it's a new fresh start. A new year. New boys." Alice said, aiming that last comment on the only single person in the group, me. I shot her a glance that made her smirk. Rolling my eyes I gathered my bag and any books that couldn't fit into it and walked to the office.

_BAM! _I stumbled back, dropping all my books on the ground. It felt as though I hit a brick wall. Crouching down to grab my books, I saw another hand helping me pick them up. _Obviously the brick wall_, I thought to myself. I glanced up for a second, immediately regretting it as I did. Edward Masen was my mysterious brick wall.  
"Sorry, I didn't see you there" I said quickly gathering the rest of my books. I tried to hurry off but Edward had grasped my elbow.  
"If it isn't little Bella Swan, how are you darling? Already running into handsome young men like myself I see. Never mind that, I'll be seeing you tonight I suppose. I'm holding a start of year party at my place. Catch you around." He conveyed his 'little' message to me, as though I was just another one of his one night stands.

Making my way to the office I felt everyone's eyes on me. When I say everyone, I mean the students that aren't new to this whole experience. It made me self-conscious.  
"Hello deary, take a seat and I'll be with you in a second" stuttered a quiet voice from behind the desk. The lady that was behind the desk was busy with another student. Looking around I found a seat next to a small square table. Plonking myself down, I placed my bag and books on said table. I began to study the office.

There were a few chairs placed in the small space, all had the leather look to them. They each had metal arm rests and from the feel of the one I was on, they were really uncomfortable. The principal's office was to the right of the lady's desk and on the wall showed the directions to the school counsellor's office. Directly opposite me was the sick bay area and across from the doors that I entered was the reception. In one of the corners they had placed a palm tree, which gave me a little giggle because Forks was not exactly the place for palm trees. Scattered along the walls of the office were little pictures and posters, promoting school spirit.

"Can I help you now deary?" the little lady piped up from behind her desk. She had finished with the student that had gone before me. I looked at him for the slightest second, just to see whether I could decide what year he was in. From his facial features and height of him, I guessed he was also a junior like myself. Looking back at the receptionist I stood up from where I was sitting and walked over to her desk. The lady was plump and had red curly hair. She wore thick framed glasses and had the rosiest cheeks I had ever seen. She wore a simple green blouse and white pearl necklace, with black trousers on.

"Good morning, what is you name please?" she asked in her matter of fact tone.  
"Isabella Swan." I replied. After a few clicks and taps of the keyboard, she printed off what I guessed was my class timetable and a map. Handing them over, she explained which classes I had today, where they were and who my teachers were. She seemed genuinely nice, but that's how they all are really. Piling up my bag and books once again, I turned and BAM, wacked into another 'brick wall'. 

"Second time this has happened, why me?" I muttered under my breath, again collecting the books that had fallen down.  
"Happen to you a lot or was this just so you could speak to me?" smirked my 'brick wall'. I shot him a glare, thinking it was Edward again, but took it back as I saw it was the guy from before.  
"Nice to see that you've gotten far away from the office." I smirked back at him. This time, I got a better look at him. He was rather handsome to say the least. He had black hair that was cropped off just recently by the look of it. His skin was a light brown tan, weird for someone in Forks. His eyes were the most appealing of all. They had a sense of danger to them, but the kind of danger you want to be involved in. They were almost black in colour. His smile was almost too perfect. 

"Forgot to say hello to a pretty girl. I'm Jacob Black." He smiled and put his hand out to be shaken.  
"Isabella Swan or just Bella." I replied shaking his hand. It was really warm, and I felt this electric current run through my veins. I blushed at his first comment.  
"Well, just Bella, piacere di conoscerti." He said, kissing the back of my hand. Blushing, I pulled away my hand.  
"So do you always compliment strangers in Italian or am I just a special case?" I teased him. Jacob just shrugged and gave me a piece of paper.  
"If you want to find out more, then just text me up." He answered, turning then leaving the office building. Smiling, I pulled out my phone and popped his number in.

I followed his lead of leaving the office too, as it was nearly time for homeroom. I nearly crashed into someone again, but they stopped just before reaching me. It was Alice, and she knew by the look on my face and hers, that something just happened.  
"Okay spill." She demanded as we started walking towards homeroom. I managed to tell her basically everything from bumping into Edward then meeting Jacob.  
"If you weren't accident prone girl, you would probably just be normal and never meet a guy. But two guys in one accident? That's a gift. So... are you going to go to Edwards with new guy?" she questioned. I just shrugged and decided it might be a good way to show Edward. Alice squealed in delight as she was already planning for me what to wear.

Homeroom was pretty basic. Our teacher's name was Mr. Giles but he liked to be called Mr. G. I had Alice in my homeroom which was nice, seeing as though I couldn't stand making new friends. (Well, besides from good looking guys introducing themselves and speaking Italian... which wasn't my fault exactly). Alice and I compared timetables together and found out that we had literature together as well as calculus. She also mentioned that Jasper was in my gym class and Emmett was in my biology class. Rose had chosen to take junior year classes, but she could defiantly do senior classes if she could. Which was one of my envies about her; along with beauty she also got the brains.

This left me with none of my friends in my Italian, drama or fabric class. I wasn't too fussed with those because it meant I could concentrate more on my studies then socialising. _I might know someone in my Italian..._ I secretly thought to myself, bringing a smile to my face. Alice looked at me weirdly and I just laughed at her. Rolling her eyes she got back to discussing what to change for Home economics. She tossed up between Latin and Art, I told her she should do art and drop Latin as it was a dead language any way. The bell went for the first period of the day; Alice had to go see the curriculum counsellor while I headed off to my first class of fabrics.

Leaning against the wall next to my homeroom was my personal stalker, Mike Newton.  
"Hey Bella, how was your summer holidays? Get up to much?" he stammered around me, trying to check what I had first.  
"Hey Mike, yeah they were alright, went to LA for a little while just to celebrity spot with mum and Charlie." I replied as nicely as I could. He nodded and looked half interested in my slight lie. I actually just stayed at home reading the book I had to read during the holidays. My mum and her new boyfriend took off to LA to celebrity spot. I stopped just outside the fabrics room which kind of gave Mike the hint of what I had first.  
"Well that's good Bella, I suppose I'll see you tonight at Edwards?" he asked with so much hope in his eyes. I nodded and waved him goodbye as he went running off to whatever class he had.

I had no clue how to work a sewing machine nor was I sure whether it was safe for me to even work one. Fortunate for me, that was how our first lesson was run. The class was split into two, those who had worked with a sewing machine and those who had no practice whatsoever. Then we were paired up with each other. My partner was none other than Lauren herself. She had experience with a sewing machine before and smirked at me as though to say 'I'm going to make your life hell'. With her, was her little minion Jessica. Next to me was the quiet girl from pre-school, Angela. I didn't mind Angela as much as I minded Lauren and Jessica. Unlike those two, Angela had not tried to seduce my best friend (Edward) nor had she claimed to have had sex with him. The second part was unbelievable since both of their mothers would rather have them crucified then spend a night with Edward Masen. We were too young for that anyway.

"Hello Isabella, nice to see you made it to High School. I didn't see you at the end of school dance in Middle school. Then again I was too busy making out with Edward any way. Speaking of which, Lauren, are you going to his tonight? I was thinking we could give him something extra from the summer…." That's when I decided to tune out of Jessica's speech to Lauren. Instead I looked over at Angela who was already stuck into working a sewing machine.  
"You look like a pro from here; sure you haven't had any experience Angela?" I laughed as she looked up at me and winked.  
"I only claimed that I haven't had experience so I wouldn't be forced to work with a blonde bimbo who wants to make it big in the fashion industry by thinking she can make her own dresses." She blurted out. Laughing I moved next to her and she explained how to actually work the stupid machine.

The rest of the class went pretty smoothly. Lauren and Jessica talked more about their exploits they were planning to do with Edward, (how he was attracted to them was confusing in the first place) and Angela and I discussing our summer holidays. The rest of the day went smoothly too, as it consisted on walking to and from classes with someone I knew. Gym I could have lived without though. Edward was in that class and I could feel he wanted me. Wanted me in the way that you want a piece of meat, which disgusted me to the point where I actually felt sick. Sure I had liked the guy during middle school, but as Alice said, a new year, new guys, and I certainly had found a new guy to look at.

I had Italian at the end of the day, which made me excited. Would Jacob Black, the handsome boy I met earlier today be in Italian? My hopes died along with my sanity, when I entered that room. Yes, Jacob was in the class, why wouldn't I be thrilled? Edward was also in that class. What made it worse was that Jacob was sitting next to Edward, and they were talking! What the fuck? Jacob looked up at me, smiled and waved me to where they were sitting. Edward also looked up, smiled in an evil way and turned back to Jacob. I was trapped; Jacob was still looking at me, just glancing to see whether I came over or not. I decided to sit two rows away from them. I felt safe there, and knew I wouldn't be distracted because I couldn't exactly turn around and look at Jacob. The class went fine, despite a feeling that I was being watched by two guys who didn't know each other well enough yet to actually talk about me.

I was more than relieved to hear the final bell go at the end of the day. I couldn't get out of that room quick enough I thought. That was, until Jacob called out to me before I had the chance to escape properly. I turned around and he was already walking towards me. Just behind him was the ever so popular Edward. I sighed, and made a quick decision not to let Edward to get the best of me.  
"Hey Jacob, glad to see your doing a class to get extra woo points with the girls." I chuckled a little to ease the unknown tension between me and Edward.  
"I don't know, is it even working with you?" he retorted smiling that gorgeous smile. I smiled back, but before I could say anything Edward butted in.  
"Bella, the word itself meaning beautiful in Italian. Does you, my _bella_, no justice. No word could describe your elegance." He said. I rolled my eyes at him, as he almost whispered the word bella. Jacob seemed confused so I just shook my head and told him not to worry about it. Edward just smirked and walked away from me and Jacob.

"You two know each other? Like more than know each other?" Jacob asked as we walked to my locker.  
"You could say I've known him since I was in pre-school. Besides from that, I haven't really been close to him for a while." I answered, hiding the full truth from Jacob.  
"I was wondering whether you would like to go to this party with me tonight?" I asked, hoping for the change of subject. Jacob, to my delight, agreed and we set it so Alice could take us with Jasper and herself to Edwards. We got to my locker and I gave him Alice's address and the time to meet, as well as my phone number.  
"I'll see you then, just Bella." He jokingly said, lifting my hand and kissing the back of it again, just like we had when we met. I blushed, yet again and nodded.

Tonight was going to be a good night.


	3. Pretty Little Thing Called Love

**Bella: Hey guys, hopefully this chapter didn't take too long for you guys to enjoy reading  
Edward: Once again, I am an asshole to Bella, but hey, only human right?  
Bella: Yes Edward, anyway, as you know this writer doesn't own anything except for her originality in the story. Enjoy :)  
Me: Oh thank you for reviewing :) P.S I changed the last chapter because freshman year was too hard to write about… so yeah, if your confused about anything, just read over the first and second chapter for any 'new' additions. If your new to reading this then yay for you :)**

**Pretty little thing called Love**

Nothing could describe how excited and nervous I was about tonight. I, Bella Swan, was going to Edward Masen's start of year party with possible the hottest freshman out there, Jacob Black. I don't know why I was excited seeing as though all through school I have loved Edward Masen... Maybe I was using Jacob Black? No that couldn't be it, Jacob made me glow. Whatever the case, I was in need of Alice's help.

Unfortunate for me, Alice's help started off with a 'quick' shop to buy new outfits for tonight. I managed to get out of a dress for tonight but Alice insisted I wear a skirt. The skirt was a nice one, with floral patterns and an elastic waist. Along with the skirt she managed to get me to buy a leotard to go under the skirt, to act as a top as such. She told me to wear my brown leather belt tonight to cover the elastic waist in the skirt. I also got away with not wearing heels tonight which I was thankful for. I mean it is only a start of year party right?

So there I was sitting in Alice's lounge room with Alice and Jasper. It was almost 6:30 and Alice curled my hair and applied my make-up (because apparently I'm hopeless at it). Jacob said to me he would get to Alice's at 6:30 so then we could go 'together', which I am pretty sure he meant as a couple. Checking my phone for the thousandth time, I saw I had a message, but more importantly it was 6:30 on the dot.

Sure enough though, the sound of a car pulling up in the driveway wasn't too far off. _I like someone who is punctual. That's a plus already_, I thought to myself smiling. Alice looked up at the sound as well then looked at me.  
"Looks like your date has arrived. I'll go tell mum we are almost ready. Hopefully she is too; apparently she's going out tonight as well." Alice said, getting up to go see her mum in the study. Jasper followed her until they got to the kitchen where Jasper

The doorbell rang after a few awkward waiting moments.  
"I'll get it!" I shouted to Alice, although I had a feeling she knew I would. In my rush to get to the door I almost collided with the lamp, and in missing that, tripped over the carpet. Cursing under my breath, I regained balance and walked calmly to the front door. I took a deep breath before opening it to my 'date'. Wow, am I glad I did ask Jacob to come. Sure, he was just in a t-shirt and jeans, but wow he looked hot.

"Hey Bella, you look great." Jacob exclaimed as I answered the door, I blushed stupidly as I always did.  
"Thanks Jacob you look very nice too." I said, trying not to make things become awkward. _Very smooth Bella _I thought sarcastically to myself.  
"Uh, come in… Alice was just checking to see if her mum was ready to drive us yet." I stated, leading him into the lounge room. I took a seat on the sofa I was sitting on before and Jacob took a seat right next to me.

"You really do look nice Bella." Jacob pointed out again. I simply just smiled at him and he put his arm around my waist. It felt nice and warm to have his touch. It almost felt natural. Alice, Jasper and Esme, Alice's mum, came into the room at that moment and Esme looked gorgeous. I knew where Alice got her looks from.  
"Hello Bella, it's nice to see you around again, and this must be Jacob Black. It's nice to meet you, I'm Alice's mum, but you can call me Esme." The older woman greeted us, her voice sounding fully grateful.  
"It's nice to meet you Ms- I mean Esme. Your home is beautiful." The boy besides me replied, as grateful sounding as Esme herself.

"Well we best be on our way now mum, as I'm sure your date will be wondering where you have gotten too" Alice implied towards her mother.  
"Oh yes, of course. Don't want to be late on our date ha, that kind of rhymed!" Esme flustered about with her last minute touches.  
"We will g wait in the car…" the pixie girl left with Jasper in toe, Jacob and I following closely behind.

Before we got into the car, Alice took my hand and led me to the boot of the car. There she handed 6when she shut me up.  
"Come on Bella, you have to wear heels! Please." The smaller girl pleaded to me. I honestly think I give in too fast because two seconds later I was wearing the heels. Sure they weren't the most uncomfortable things in the world, but they weren't the most comfortable either. Alice practically beamed as I slipped them on, perfect fit as always. Sighing, I walked over to the front of the car and got in the passenger next to Jacob, while Alice hoped in the front next to Esme.

The trip to the Masen's residence was pretty quiet. Jasper and Alice were constantly looking at each other through the rear view mirror and Jacob had his arm around me in a protective way. I suspected that he definitely wanted to be more than friends with me, which was fine, just perfectly fine. Upon arrival to the Masen house, I could see girls dressed in short dresses they were hanging off guys, laughing and drinking from red plastic cups. _I bet that's not soft drink _I begrudgingly thought to myself. The music was blaring the 'latest' Rihanna song, which for someone coming from California was fairly old... in a way.

"Alice, just text me your finished here and I'll pick all of you guys up. Your all welcome to stay the night here if you want though…" Esme trailed off, as she still hoped that we would befriend Edward again.  
"Okay mum, I'll text you and let you know what we are doing okay?" Alice said, as she was exiting the car. Her mum just nodded and told us to have a good night then drove off. Alice and Jasper left me and Jacob to ourselves in search of Rose and Emmett.  
"You want to go dance or get a drink first? I can't promise you I'm the best dancer in the world though." The russet haired guy chuckled at me.  
"Ugh, don't worry, neither am I… maybe a few drinks will help me relax." I chortled back.

Taking my hand, Jacob led me through the crowds of people who were meant to be my class mates but some of them I hardly recognised. Sure enough though, we ran into the host of the party.  
"Look what the cat dragged in." he announced in his matter-of-fact way.  
"Hey mate, nice to see you too, just look for the drinks." Jacob replied shaking Edwards hand. I could sense that Edward was paying attention to Jacob's other hand, the one that was holding mine.  
"Uh… yeah… they are just over there… you two have a good night now." Edward said, with less cockiness this time. _What the fuck? Why is he acting so weird?_ I shrugged the thought out of my head and politely smiled at him.  
"Thanks Edward, you too." I sweetly replied. Then his green eyes met mine and I could feel a spark run through my body. I shuddered and led Jacob away from Edward.

"You alri…" Jacob started to say, but I shut him up by placing my finger over his mouth.  
"Let's dance." I said, starting to sway my body to the beat of the music. I took Jacob's hand and moved him over to the crowd where the people were dancing. Jacob had no protest as I swayed against his body to the rhythm. I had to get my mind off Edward Masen. Jacob Black was the one who would help me do this. I let go of his hands and turned around, putting my back up against his chest. Without hesitation, he placed his hands on my waist and I could feel his body moving in sync with mine. I turned and faced him, placing my hands on his shoulders. I felt his hands move up my back, til they were just under my breast, but he wasn't touching them.

"I'm fine by the way, let's get something to drink now." I whispered in his ear after a few songs. I felt as though everyone was watching me and Jacob now. That made me very self-conscious. Jacob nodded and took my hand. On our way over to the drinks table I caught Edward looking at us, well actually me, in the corner of my eye. I also saw that he had Lauren hanging off of him like a lost puppy. _Weird, he usually would be all over Lauren or Jess, but his watching me instead…_ I felt confused by his actions. Why was Edward looking at me, completely ignoring Lauren's seduction techniques?

"Here you go my _bella_" Jacob whispered the word bella, making me smile a little. I nodded in thanks and chugged the drink down. I looked over to see if Edward was still watching, and sure enough his green eyes had failed to leave me. Even as he was led somewhere else by Lauren, he still had his eyes on me.  
"Wow, you powered down that one, are you sure you're okay Bella?" Jacob asked, looking quizzically into my eyes.  
"Yeah, pssh, I am fine!" I laughed at his worry. I was fine, wasn't I?  
"Good, because I would hate for you to not having a good time." He replied calmer. I smiled at him cheekily,  
"Now, if I wasn't have a good time I wouldn't do this would I?" I questioned him before standing on my toes and planting a kiss on his lips. For a few seconds, it felt as though he wasn't kissing me back, but sure enough his mouth started to move as well.

The kiss soon turned into a make-out session, with his hands moving up and down my upper body, my hands on his chest. I heard a few woof whistles, which got me out of my trance. Jacob finished kissing me too. When we parted, I had the biggest grin on my face as did he.  
"So I guess we are official now?" he asked, my reply was another kiss on the lips.

"Bella, there you are! I was wonderin- oh… I see I interrupted something here… ha... sorry…" Alice yelled from the other side of the room, just before I looked at her, parting from Jacob's lips. I smiled at her and just shrugged. She shook her head in response, smiled and then walked away. Now everyone's eyes were on me and Jacob. I do mean everyone. The music was still blasting away in the background, but nobody was moving.  
"Okay guys, shows over. Yes me and Bella are going out now." Jacob dismissed everyone watching, turning his attention back to me.  
"You're perfect." I looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back, giving me a kiss on the temple.  
"To think, you were just some random who I bumped into this morning." Jacob reminisced as we swayed side to side with our bodies to the music. I just giggled a little, because in reality, that's exactly how we did meet. _Huh, I suppose there is such a thing as love at first sight._ I smiled at my silent thought.

The rest of the night went pretty smoothly, with some people I hadn't seen in ages welcoming me back with hugs. It was good to see Mike and Eric, but they weren't with me for very long… I think that had something to do with the god-like guy I was hanging off of. Either way, we talked for a little while and then Mike saw Jess by herself, so he went over to her. Eric stood their awkwardly until he decided to go get something to drink himself. I didn't mind, I mean I could always talk to those two any day and right now I was probably as happy as Larry. Who wouldn't be if they were me? I had the perfect boyfriend, the best of best friends and a great group of other friends around me. But something was wrong. Something didn't feel right, in the depth of my happiness, I was upset.

Fortunately, I managed to keep my mind off that little sadness and think about the positiveness. That was until I remembered that I had a received a text message earlier today, before Jacob came to Alice's and this whole charade happened. Letting go of Jacob's waist, I excused myself to go to the toilet.  
"I'll be right back I promise." I assured Jacob, leaving him by himself in the crowd of people. I had been to Edward's house plenty of times before and luckily for me the layout hadn't changed since my last visit. I grabbed my little clutch bag that I had retrieved from the 'bag' room. Grabbing my phone, I saw the message was still lit up.

I honestly wished I had read the message earlier. My heart sunk to the ground, as did I. I read the message a thousand times over, still not believing what it said. Instantly, I knew why_ he_ was looking at me tonight. I knew why _he_ was acting weird. Why, of all the nights, did he have to choose tonight to tell me he was in love with me and always has been? My breathing became shallower and my heart sped up too. I felt a hot tear run down my cheek, then another one. I honestly couldn't believe what I was reading.

"Hey, Jacob menti- Bella? What's wrong? Why are you crying? What did Jacob do?" Alice had entered the bathroom, obviously looking for me as I wasn't with Jacob. I looked up at her, and the look on her face was pure caring. She instantly crouched down next to me and started rubbing my back.  
"Why me Alice? Why does he have to ruin every single happy moment of my life?" I muffled into Alice's shoulder. She just sat there in silence, not needing to say anything. She saw that I had my phone in my hand, with his message on it. Grabbing my phone, she quickly read over the message, gasping getting to the last of it.

"The nerve he has to send that to you. After all that his put you through, you deserve more than a message." Alice cursed to herself. She was obviously loud enough that someone from outside came in. I looked up, and instantly wishing I didn't immediately after the event. Alice happened to alert the one guy I didn't want to see just then.  
"Alice, can you leave us alone for a second, I need to talk to him." I sniffled, never dropping eye contact with him.


	4. Sweet Little Lies

**Bella: What a thriller ending to that last chapter!  
Edward: Yeah.. sure… But you and Jacob… why?  
Bella: I don't know… but hey, that's your fault for being a jerk… anyways, yet again this author owns nothing of the Stephanie Meyer collection. Enjoy!**

**Sweet Little Lies**

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked, after Alice had I looked at him as though he was the most stupid person in the world at the moment.  
"Am _I _alright? Are you serious Edward? Maybe if you checked your phone at your recent messages you would know. God, you are so thick sometimes." I accused him, staring blankly into his emerald coloured eyes. His face winced at the fact that I was yelling at him. I wasn't finished though.  
"How come you didn't have the balls to tell me in person? Or is this just some sick joke of yours, in hopes to get in my pants?" I finished my accusations, still glaring at him.

I could see that his shoulders sunk as he realised how upset I was about his confession of love via text message. That and the fact that I had no clue what to do now. Did I go with Jacob, the guy I had just met and agreed to go out with, or the guy I had loved ever since meeting him. My heart was torn in two, but I had to make a decision there and then.

"I'm going now. I can't deal with this, because truth is Edward, I have loved you ever since we met in Kindergarten. Sure it was a little kids crush back then, but then you became a jerk… then I moved away, in hopes of getting over you. Then I came back, and so did all these feelings. A this whole Jacob thing has got me confused. I… I just can't do this, I'm sorry." I sighed propping myself up from my sitting position, taking one last look at Edward, who had a face that could make angels cry at the moment.  
"Bella, I am so…" Edward started to say, but I didn't want to hear the rest, because I knew what I wanted then and I was going to get him. Walking down the stairs, I saw Jacob still standing where I had left him. Putting on a brave face, I wondered back to him and took his hand.

"Oh, I was wondering if you flushed yourself down the toilet or something. Then Alice came down shaking her head… are you okay Bella?" the brunette asked in a worried voice. I simply nodded in response. I didn't want to explain the whole Edward thing to him just yet.  
"Let's get out of here. I need to leave this place now, no questions asked. Please?" I pleaded to Jacob. His face seemed a bit confused, but he agreed with my demands.  
"Okay, I'll just get Alice and…"  
"No… I want to go back to your house. I need to be with you tonight." I interrupted the confused boy next to me.

After a few moments of hesitation, he took out his phone and started texting. I assumed it was his mum or dad asking them to pick us up. I decided I should at least inform Alice on what was going on, so I sent her a text message which she was bound to get before she headed home.  
"So you parents won't mind me staying at your house tonight?" I questioned Jacob wearily. I mean it's not like I did want to do _anything_ with Jacob tonight. I just needed his company. Jacob laughed a little then shook his head.  
"I am not living with my parents at the moment. I am currently living with my older sister Rachel. She is pretty cool, but in the morning she will ask questions about tonight. Don't worry; I don't want anything from you. You look upset and I am no position to ask for anything tonight. We only just started going out." Jacob added that last bit with a little smirk in his voice. I smiled back up at him, _Oh, I so hope I made the right choice._ I thought to myself.

Jacob checked his phone as it made a noise, barely noticeable in amongst the noise of the party. He checked it then put it back in his pocket.  
"Rach is on her way. Are _your_ parents happy about you spending the night with such a mysterious guy?" he asked. I shook my head  
"My dad doesn't care as long as I am with someone I can trust, plus he thinks I am at Alice's tonight. My mum, well she lives in California so she doesn't have a say." I laughed a little cautiously. It was true, my mum did live in California and she had no say in it, but as for my dad, I am sure he would positively kill me if he knew I wasn't at Alice's tonight.  
"Wouldn't your dad kill me though? I am no Alice, that's for sure…" Jacob echoed my last thoughts. I shook my head  
"Don't worry about it. My dad will never know, and Alice won't tell." I assured the boy, who looked a little relieved by this news.

It was short after that Jacob received another text message. _God I hate messages now…_ I scowled at the noise. Without even looking at the message, Jacob took my hand and walked outside. Sure enough, there was a pink beetle waiting for us outside. I giggled to myself as Jacob groaned at his sister's car's choice.  
"I like the car." I teased Jacob. Jacob just sighed and waved to the driver of the car.  
"Hey Rach, this is Bella, my … uh…. Girlfriend I suppose." Jacob announced to the blonde haired driver. She didn't seem very enthused at the idea of taking her brother home, but when he introduced me, she was all ears.  
"Hi Rachel, it's nice to meet you." I smiled at the blonde. She smiled back then winked at Jacob. The brunette just sighed and opened the car door.

When Jacob got in on the other side, his sister started the car and pulled out of the driveway. In the corner of my eye, I saw someone running out of the house. Taking a guess at who it was, I looked back and saw possibly the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life. Edward, who has always the 'manly and macho' type, fell to his knees at the sight before him. I felt sorry for the guy for two seconds, letting a frown appear on my face. I then felt a hand upon my thigh. Looking around, I placed a smile on my face. My choice was made and it was Edward's fault for being such a jerk.

I placed my hand on Jacob's, and squeezed it a little bit. That earned a smile from the copper haired boy. The rest of the car trip was quiet, Rachel listening to the songs on the radio, while me and Jacob made 'Google-eyes' at each other. Well, according to the blonde in the front we did. Rachel stopped the car outside a little house that reminded me of a cottage you would find in the woods, like the romantic ones. The red paint on the outside was fading, but it looked like a home, not just a house.

"Welcome to my humble abode. I like to call this structure my house, the house I share with my sister here." Jacob announced leading me up the pathway. I was awe struck. The house was beautiful, nice and cosy. Outside looked all rustic and antique, but the inside was modern.  
"It's so beautiful; I take it that Rachel decorated it?" I raised an eyebrow at Jacob awaiting confirmation. He simply nodded, leaning down to kiss me on the lips. I turned my body and grabbed his shirt. He placed his hands on my waist, pushing me towards the couch that was in the lounge room.

"Guys, please, Jacob's room is down the hall there. If your going to get it on, go into there. For God's sake." Rachel interrupted our little passionate moment. Feeling the heat rise in my cheeks I let go of Jacob and we separated. _Am I moving too quickly? I only _just_ met this guy this morning… or maybe it's the alcohol that I had at E- his place..._ , Rachel's interruption caused me to think about my own actions. Snapping back to reality I saw that Jacob was walking to the hallway, and I followed.  
"Uh, Jacob… about what your sister said, I don't want to move quickly. I mean we met this morning…" I whispered quietly to the copper haired boy. He smiled and nodded at me, he was so sweet.

"I know Bella, and I will go slow… You don't have any PJ's... that may be a problem if were going slow…" Jacob said a little too suggestive for the previous words. Biting my lip I moved closer to Jacob.  
"I do have my underwear under this… Perhaps I could sleep in that…" I replied in a seductive way.  
"Well, that would probably ruin the whole _going slow_ thing… I'll just give you one of my t-shirts and you can sleep in that… if you feel more comfortable in that..." Jacob whispered into my ear, sending kisses down my neck. I groaned in delight, my neck probably being my ticklish spot. I started to laugh as Jacob picked me up bridal style and took me to a room down the hall. Inside was a simple king bed, a wardrobe and bed side tables.

Dropping me on the bed, Jacob left the room, winking at me. I took the hint to get undressed, but did I tempt him with my underwear (which thanks to Alice she said to wear 'pretty' ones… meaning a lace bra and lace panties.) or did I just chuck on a t-shirt of his. My mind was made up pretty easily, by searching his wardrobe for an old t-shirt. I managed to find a Yankee's jumper, which was just big enough to cover my body down to my ass. It was suggestive, without being too forward, exactly how I wanted it to be.

Taking a seat on his bed, I looked around. His bedroom was pretty big compared to the lounge room. He had a bathroom attached to his room as well, which I had only just noticed. I saw the tell-tale signs of this room being a typical teenaged boy room. He had posters of girls on his walls as well as a mess on the floor. I smiled at the sight, thinking it was impossible for Jacob to be 'human' but here was proof in front of my eyes. A knock on his door brought me back to the reality of which I was faced with.

"Uh, Jacob this is your house and more to the point, your room… you can come in anytime you want." I sheepishly said, praying it wasn't actually Rachel at the door. A huge wave of relief was spread over me as a half-naked Jacob walked in. I could swear my eyes popped out of my head when I saw how defined his muscles were. His body was perfect; looking like the God's had chiselled it themselves. His olive skin just made him seem more like an angel then human.  
"Nice jumper, it happens to be my favourite one." The tanned man smirked at me, in return I just blushed  
"Yeah, I like it because it smells like you… like sunshine and musk. It reminds me of California too. Which is stupid seeing as though New York here on the East Coast and Cali-" I was cut off by Jacob's lips against mine.

"You tend to blabber on when you're nervous I've noticed." Jacob told me after we had separated from our kiss. I huffed out a sigh  
"I'm not nervous, just being stupid. I think I'm just tired, but I can think of a thousand reasons not to sleep…" I retorted back with a grin on my face. Jacob shook his head in dismay.  
"Bella, you need sleep. I don't know what was up with you tonight, but whatever it was, you can tell me. I will understand." Jacob asserted me with his warm words. I looked into his black eyes, looking for anything that was off. All I could find was worry and a need. The need, I guessed, was to be trusted. We were in a relationship now, and aren't they built up on trust, friendship and honesty? So why couldn't I tell Jacob about Edward's message? Was it that I actually regretted my decision now the alcohol was starting to wear off?

"Bella, I want you to be able to trust me? Please, can you tell me what made you upset tonight? I lo- like you, a lot." The confused boy confessed. Holding onto his warm hands I shut my eyes in thought.  
"Jacob, I thank you for your concern, but I can't… not yet. It's nothing personal towards you. I like you, a lot, as well. It's just a little complicated now. Plus, I am really tired. Can we just go to bed, please?" I pleaded my case with Jacob, who looked beaten and still confused. He eventually gave in and nodded his head.

That night, I fell asleep with Jacob's arms around me, but I could only think about one person, and that person wasn't lying next to me. I couldn't get to sleep, and when I did, I dreamt of Edward Masen.


	5. I'm Never Goning to Find You Faking

**Argh! I hate writers block, this chapter took me several tries to get it right -. - Very annoying. Anyways, here I go again… hopefully this WILL be the right chapter… well obviously it is seeing as though it is here… any who, on with le story :) (Sorry for the no Edward/Bella dialogue... they are having issues at the moment ;))**

**I'm never going to find you faking.**

The sun spilt in through the window, causing me to wince slightly before fully adjusting to the fact it was a sunny day, in Forks. The least sunny place in the continental US, and it was sunny. Sighing, I stretched out of normality in my morning routine, but heard a little moaning next to me. Smiling I looked at the copper-haired boy who was glaring back up at me.  
"Good morning. Have a nice sleep?" I enquired.  
"The best I have had in a long time." He smiled back up, his brown eyes glistening. Giggling I kissed his temple  
"We should get out of bed, we _do _have school today." I said, sitting up on Jacob's bed.

School was going to be… interesting, to say the least. It would be the first time everyone saw me and Jacob as a couple, well outside of the party scene. It would also be the first time seeing Edward after his little confession of love last night. What didn't help that fact was that I did stay up half the night thinking about him. Yawning, I looked over at Jacob. He was already starting to drift back to sleep.

"Oi you, lazy bum, we have to get up no- SHIT, I don't have any clothes for today." I cursed not realising this until now. What was I going to do? I couldn't borrow Rachel's clothing because she was taller and curvier then me, and Jacob didn't have any clothes that would be appropriate for a girl to wear in public. I heard a laugh escape from Jacob's mouth. Shooting him a glare I huffed and grabbed my phone. Edward's message was still on the screen from last night. The message still stabbed me in my heart; it felt like it was just twisting the blade around and around. I didn't feel sick, I felt worse than sick.

Opening my eyes again, I quickly closed the message and sent a text message to Alice, hoping she could bring around my clothes from last night. Jacob laughed again, this time; I turned around and saw that he had bag in his hand. More to the point it was my bag that I took to Alice's.  
"How'd you… Oh, Alice must have thought ahead…" I mumbled to myself. Of course my best friend thought ahead, she always seemed to have a plan up her sleeve. I just shook my head, taking the bag out of Jacob's hands and wandered over to the bathroom.  
"Uh, could I possibly you know, have a shower please?" I asked sheepishly. Jacob's head cocked up and he smiled at me before nodding. He handed me a towel and sat on his bed again.

I looked at his defined muscles for a little longer before closing the door and undressing myself. Taking a shower in someone else's bathroom always put me on edge. For one thing, I didn't have any of my own toiletries, except for deodorant. I didn't pack it for Alice's because she always had some of my stuff at her place. I did however manage to get over that edginess and used some of Jacob's shampoo and a nice body wash that wasn't overly manly. It smelt like him, which is what made me decide to use it. Maybe that was the trick to get Edward off my mind.

I washed the rest of my body and got dressed in what clothes Alice had of mine. I saw a pair of skinny leg jeans that were a light colour, my t-shirt of my favourite band (A day to remember) and my converse sneakers. She also made sure I had my brush and a near pair of underwear and bra. I really do have the best of best friends. I exited to an empty room. Worried that it was already time to get to school, I checked the time._ Nope, only seven o'clock, plenty of time to have brea- Oh… that's where he has gone… _I thought to myself. At my own little realisation, I wandered into the hallway, slowly listening for any signs of life else were. I could hear talking at the end of the hallway, the conversation sounding light and friendly. Obviously Rachel was waiting for after school to ask Jacob all the questions.

I entered the kitchen and instantly smelt something delicious. _I do love myself some waffles. _I thought, putting the smell to an item. Jacob looked up at me as I entered, still topless but in khaki shorts now. _Obviously someone wasn't shy of their own body._ I smugly thought. As his brown eyes met my equally brown eyes, I left his, due to a plate of hot waffles being given to me.  
"Good morning Bella, I hope you slept well, but next time you plan on staying here, please get your clothes first. I did not appreciate being woken up at 11:30 last night to an over hyper and drunken pixie." Rachel requested in a half harsh half-jokingly tone to me. I smiled sheepishly back to her shrugging my shoulders.  
"I'll be sure of that, and I am terribly sorry about that." I replied back to her, her frown softened to a smile.  
"Jacob, I like this girl, keep her. Also, I have to get to work a little earlier, so I got Paul to come by and take you to school. Is that alright?" the blonde turned to face Jacob. Jacob, who had his mouthful just nodded in response.

I took a wild guess and suggested to myself that Paul was Rachel's boyfriend. If it wasn't then I was sure he was more than a friend when I saw him. _Paul _as he was introduced to me by Jacob was a six foot something male, with olive skin and light brown hair. His eyes were the same colour as Jacob's and I swear they could have been brothers. My guess about him being more than a friend to Rachel was correct, they were apparently soon to be engaged, but that was a secret. (Duh) He seemed friendly enough and Jacob seemed to like him. He eyed my carefully after Jacob explained to him that I was his girlfriend, _great another person to ask Jacob questions about our intimacy last night. Sigh. _I exhaled as I thought the word and Jacob looked at me strangely.

"I just want to get to school, don't want to be late on our second day now do we?" I teased the copper head boy. Paul just snickered in the corner, before he unlocked his four-wheeled drive.  
"In we hop kids. Bella is right, we don't want you guys to be late… people might start to think things of last night." Paul joked, winking at me and nudging Jacob on his elbow. This only earned a scowl from Jacob and blush from me. Quickly looking down, I walked over and opened the back seat passenger side door. Well tried to open it. It was a little stuck, so I yanked at the handle. Unfortunately I yanked a little too hard and stumbled backwards. Fortunate for me, Jacob had followed me to the door and had been behind me, making him able to catch me.  
"Please tell me you're not falling into me on purpose." The copper haired boy smirked at me playfully. I shook my head in reply.  
"No, just falling for you." I said in the cheesiest way possible. From the other side of the car I heard Paul roar with laughter.

"Shut up Paul, I don't hear Rachel saying that sort of stuff to you." Yelled Jacob, still holding on to my waist.  
"Nope, she doesn't but she does say other things while we are together. Especially my name." Paul retorted back, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what he meant.  
"Ugh, gross. I DID not need to know that information." Jacob replied with a horror look on his face. I giggled in response to Jacob's response. It certainly wasn't anything _I _wanted to hear either, especially not this early in the morning.  
"Come on, let's get you kiddies to school then. All aboard the Paul express," Paul sounded like he was born to be a train conductor. Jacob took my hand and boosted me up to the seat. I shuffled over to make room for Jacob who hoped straight in and closed the door.

My phone soon vibrated in my pocket. I casually glanced at the sender and breathed a small sigh of relief it wasn't Edward. Instead it was from my best friend.

_Hey, just checking up and seeing if you need a lift or something to school? And I DO want to hear all the goss BTW. Reply back ASAP please :) - Alice x  
_I laughed a little at her text message. She didn't want to pick me up, she just wanted to know the gossip like everyone else did. I knew if I didn't reply back she would be ringing me.

_Hey, I am fine thanks; Jacob's sister's boyfriend is taking me and Jake to school. Don't try and pretend you didn't want to pick me up just to hear the goss, which there is none of. Besides, do you really think I would tell you over text message? You're so predictable, and this is why you're my best friend. I will see you at school. - Bella x  
_Reading over the text message one more time, I pressed send and closed my phone, placing the object into my pocket. Turning to face Jacob, I saw that he had a look of confusion on his face.  
"Alice." I explained to him, instant relief on his face.  
"She was just checking up on me, and here is a warning be prepared for twenty questions at school." I announced , trying to scare the boy. He just laughed it off.  
"For you, I would undergo one thousand questions. Maybe even a million." His voice sounded so loving, I couldn't help but blush and pull him into a kiss.

"Alright kids, less PDA more get more into FFA! Woo, future farmers of America let's go." The almond haired man turned around to us. I blushed furiously since; when I was in California I _was _a part of the FFA. We pulled apart, just in time to pull into Fork's High School. The kids there looked totally different today. They all looked the same to me, I could only see a few people who weren't mixed into the crowd. I spotted Alice and Jasper waiting near a few trees. Emmett and Rose were close to them, they looked much calmer then Alice. I also saw Jessica and Lauren, slightly to the left of my group. Mike was hanging around them as well, which surprised me. Not as a much as the fact as he had his arm around Jessica's waist.

_Well, at least that's one less bitch for Edward to control. _I thought bitterly. Scanning the crowds of children I had spotted the one person who I wanted to spot, but at the same time wanted to avoid. Edward was leaning on his car in the parking lot. He was alone, and it almost hurt me to see this. Edward was never one to be alone, not even when he wanted to be. He always had a group of girls surrounding him or hanging off of him.

_Huh, I suppose you tame one wilder beast and the others are tamed with it. _I smirked at that thought. The four-wheeled drive came to an abrupt stop in a car spot. Coming out of my trance, I saw that Jacob was looking out his own window, still holding my hand ever so softly.  
"Well this is where you guys get out and say thank you to Paul." Paul smugly said looking in his rear-view mirror.  
"Thanks man, I'll see you tonight at dinner I suppose?" Jacob questioned the older male. Paul nodded in response.  
"Yeah, thanks Paul, it was nice to meet you." I said to him, smiling at him kindly. He smiled back at me  
"You too kid. See you around hopefully." He winked at Jacob and me. I just kept smiling to myself. Next to me I saw Jacob's mouth pull up into a grin.

Soon after we exited to car, Paul had driven off and Jacob and I were left there by our self for a few moments. Out of nowhere I heard my name being called. I looked around the caller and realised I didn't have to guess twice about who it was. I saw a short petite girl coming towards me, with her boyfriend in toe.

"I stopped her from running over here; I couldn't stop her from bombarding you when you got here." Jasper announced sheepishly, feeling sorry for my soon to be torture. Alice grabbed my hand and took me off to the bathrooms. Not before leaving a message for Jasper to take Jacob to our friends.  
"I'll be speaking with YOU later mister." The pixie girl added. I shot Jacob an apologetic look before looking back to where Alice was taking me.

"YOU missy, need to start giving details and start giving them now. Not only do you spend the night with Mr. Hottie out there, you decide to inform me that Edward confessed his love for you last night and then left in a PINK car?" Alice said in an accusing voice.  
"There is nothing to tell of last night. We slept together… IN CLOTHES!" I added that last bit because I saw that Alice had a look of surprise on her face.  
"As for Edward… well what can I do when I think about him all night, despite being cuddled by Jacob Black. He really FUCKED with my head now didn't he? What the fuck was I supposed to do then? Say 'I love you too Edward, just wait here while I go tell Jacob that my friend of years has told me he loved me and I'm breaking up with you even if we have been going out for two minutes'? I couldn't Alice, I just couldn't. I was a mess, and I made a decision. That decision was Jacob, but last night, how could I think of Jacob when all that was on my mind was Edward and his stupid fucking message." I confided in my best friend. After calming down and Alice actually being quiet, the question of the pink car came up.  
"The car belongs to Rachel, Jacob's sister. You wouldn't believe how Edward reacted to that last night. He dropped to his knees. At me, going away in a pink car. For all he knew, Jacob could actually be gay and not ready to come out yet." I jokingly said, hoping Jacob wasn't gay.

This earned a laugh from Alice.  
"Well someone was being a little over dramatic now weren't they…? His own god damn fucking fault now isn't it?" Alice smirked at the idea of Edward being a drama queen. We both laughed as the image of Edward dressing up as a drag, like he did that one Halloween when they were young kids and didn't know the difference between a kiss and sex.  
"Are you remembering what I am remembering?" I asked Alice knowingly, because she had the same face on her as I did on mine. We both burst out laughing knowing for well that we were indeed on the same wave length.

We exited the bathroom ,which luckily no one was in there, otherwise it would be rather awkward for them to hear our whole conversation, just in time for Jacob, Jasper, Emmett and Rose to come walking by. The copper haired boy walked up to me and placed his hand into mine. I wanted to squeeze it tight, but I couldn't seeing as though I had to depart from the group to get to homeroom. I gave Jacob a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, which earned cooing from the others. I snapped them a look that shut them up.  
"I'll see you in Italian Bella, oh _bella"_ Jacob whispered into my ear. I gave him another kiss on the cheek and left with Alice.

We made our way to homeroom in silence, just in time for the bell to sound the start of a glorious day at Forks High. Homeroom flew by and before I knew it, I was on my way to my first class of the day, gym. How I hated gym with a passion. I had an even bigger reason to hate it now though. I changed into my shorts and socks, placing my converse and jeans in my locker, before heading out to the gymnasium. I saw a couple of people who I knew so I walked over and stood with them. They smiled when they saw me then instantly got involved with their conversation once again. It was about last night's party and how it 'went off'. Edward really did know how to have a party. Apparently Jacob and I weren't the only people who became couples there. Just as I had suspected, Mike and Jess hooked up and then Mike asked her to be her official girlfriend. Lauren tried to get with Edward, but he was all mopey apparently. _I wonder why…_ I allowed myself to think before the boy turned up into my sight. He looked handsomely sad, pain written in his face when his emerald coloured eyes met mine.

I looked away from him. Ashamed I didn't even have the guts to tell him why I couldn't look at him.  
"Isabella Swan? Yeah, can you come here for a second; I just got sent a message from the office." Coach Carter called me over to him. He was an old man, late fifties I would say, but he was pretty much in shape compared to other Gym teachers I knew/had over my years. He had in his hands a piece of paper with my name on it. Handing it over to me, he started to round up the other kids to start the lesson.

I opened the piece of paper almost instant. Reading over the message, I wish I hadn't. Honestly, nothing could be worse than the news on this paper. I read over it again, then one last time before everything went dark.

**Ohhhhh, cliffhanger. My first of many in this story :D how I love them hehe. Well I am hoping you enjoyed that and it made sense to you… sorry if it took longer then you wanted it to, but a girl has to sleep too! Haha, anways, thank you for reading and please review :)**

**Xoxo gossip girl ;)**


	6. I'll Be there For You

**Thank you again guys for reading and reviewing. We had a cliff hanger last chapter and I am now here to realise you of your frustrations. This chapter will be in a different POV… Edwards! Yay :3 **

**I'll be there for you. **

**EPOV**

Everything in the past two hours has been a blur for me. I was just watching the beautiful brunette in Gym Class, now I was looking at her body lying so still in the hospital. She had fainted after receiving a piece of paper. What was on the paper, I had no clue. All I knew is that I had to be by her side until she woke up. Her dad was out in the hallway, he had tears streaming down his face. Whatever this was about, it had to involve her family.

I heard a little moan and looked over to where she was laying. Her eyes started to flutter open and I went over to her.  
"Edward? W-what happened? All I remember was the note an.." she couldn't say anymore, her tears running like a stream into a river.  
"Bella, it's alright, I'll go get Charlie for you." I said, leaving the broken girl sobbing still. It pained me to see her like this.

As I walked out to the hallway, Charlie, her father, looked up at me, expectantly.  
"She's awake but is a little upset." I announced to the raven haired man. He nodded and got up from his seat. Walking past me he gave me a little pat on the shoulder.  
"Thanks Edward, for you know, being with her. I couldn't cope with this as well as the news." Charlie said. I just smiled and nodded, taking the seat that was now occupied. As Charlie entered, I saw Bella's tears return but this time, more were coming from the young girl. I felt kind of sorry for Charlie as he was the awkward father whom Bella had spent little time with since she was a little girl.

I sat in the hallway for what seemed like ages, then just as I was leaving to get something to eat, Charlie exited Bella's room and closed the door behind him.  
"She's gone back to sleep. Poor thing is exhausted from all the tears she's shed." Charlie announced in a worn out voice. I understood what this meant. Bella wanted to be left alone for a while.  
"I was just going to grab something to eat. Would you like to join me Officer Swan?" I addressed the police officer. He looked at me and then nodded.

Walking to the cafeteria in silence with Charlie, the old man himself seemed tired and exhausted. I ordered two coffees and put my hand to stop Charlie paying for them.  
"Your exhausted officer, let me do this one favour for you." I proclaimed. He looked defeated before I even started my explanation. Sighing, Charlie took a seat near the large windows of the hospital as he waited for me to bring his coffee to him.

"I am a wreck. A total wreck. I can't even help my daughter, let alone myself." He angrily said, yelling into his hands. I didn't know what to say to the man. I had no clue what was going on. I wasn't going to pry either. Whatever was going on it had to beyond bad for both of these two hard shells to crack. After a few moments of silence, a little pixie girl came running into the hospital. She was closely followed by the twins and then finally him. Alice came running up Charlie, tears streaming down her face, Jasper was immediately behind her, rubbing her back as she hugged Charlie. Jasper nodded at me in greeting. I nodded back, turning my attention to the male behind Jasper.

Jacob Black was nothing special in my eyes. Sure he was nice when we spoke in Italian, but after last night's events, I never wanted to see the bastard every again. But of course he was here in this hospital. He was dating the girl I was in love with. He looked at me confusion on his face.  
"She fainted in Gym class, I happen to be in it." I answered his confused expression coldly.  
"Oh." Was all he could offer in reply. _Huh, Bella's going out with a Neanderthal. She could do so much better, like me. _I thought bitterly, turning my head back to where Alice was pumping Charlie for answers.

"Are you okay? Is Bella okay? What room is she in? Is she awake? Can I see her?" the little pixie girl blurted out so quickly, that Charlie looked bewildered. I decided to save the old man some relief and answer the questions.  
"I don't know how Charlie is feeling, but Bella is shattered. She's in the room down the hall there, I think it's 26. She is just resting for the moment, but I am sure you could go see her." I piped up, causing Alice to shoot me a look. Charlie also shot me a look, but it was a look of relief.

"D-do you know? Does he know?" Alice asked me then turned back to Charlie, who just shrugged in response.  
"Know what?" I looked at the girl. She knew why Bella was in such a state. I wanted to know so badly so I could be the one to comfort her. That's all I wanted to do at the time, all I wanted to do forever. Just be there to hold her and care for her. Never let any harm come for her, maybe even die for her. I hid these feelings I had for her for a while now. It wasn't until she returned that they came back up. She was so beautiful, and I had pretty much fucked it all up last night. I still looked at her like any other girl, I thought that's how I could get her to love me back. That's how it had worked out before, or at least I thought it did, how else could I have dated the girls in high school?

Jacob cleared his throat from behind me, pulling me out of my thoughts.  
"If it makes you feel better Edward, I have no clue what happened either. I just got told to come down here with Alice because Bella was in hospital." The annoying boy said from behind me. I glared at my empty coffee cup before looking up at Alice, who was nervously looking between us both. Of course she knew what was going on between me and Bella.  
"Yeah, that makes me feel _so _much better Jacob." I snapped sarcastically at him. He backed off a little, mumbling something about going to get something to eat. I just looked back into my coffee cup, hoping for answers.

"Edward, could I possibly speak to you? Alone?" Alice piped up from the other side of me. I looked at her, and one look at her face told me she was either going to yell at me, tell me what's wrong with Bella or ask me questions. I was guessing all of the above. Nodding, I left my seat and chucked my cup in the bin before following Alice to the hallway.

"First of all, where the FUCK do you think you get off saying you love someone over text? Say it to her face next time buddy. Do you even fucking mean it? Or is this just another one of your games you seem to play with all the girls? Because believe me boy-o, if you are playing a game, you picked the wrong girl to play it with." Alice yelled as softly as she could so she didn't disturb others. I looked down at my shoes, ashamed as she knew so much about me.  
"Alice, believe me when I say this, I have loved Bella for a long time now. When she left I was shattered and I didn't know why. When she came back, I saw how beautiful she was and why I was upset at her leaving. It's because I have loved her. But I never saw it because I was getting the attention from the other girls. I couldn't help but love the attention. Sorry for being male." I replied back in a more calm matter then Alice had before. Looking up, I still saw anger in her eyes, but they had seemed to soften.

"So, when she fainted in Gym today, do you have any clue what she had just read?" Alice asked me. I shook my head.  
"I wish I knew." Was my simply reply. Alice exhaled long and deeply. I could tell she was about to tell me.  
"Bella's mum was in a car crash. It was a terrible one that had happened either really late last night or really early this morning. She was flown into the emergency department at the major hospital in L.A. She didn't make it through the first five minutes. They tried everything on her, but it was no use. I know this information because the school knew I had a personal relationship with Bella. Besides Charlie and Bella knowing, I only knew about it. Until now." Alice ended with a sigh. Tears started to fall down her face. Before I knew what I was doing, I had Alice in an embrace.

It wasn't anything romantic; it was sort of like we were siblings. I let her cry and cry until no more tears could form. Then she pulled away, wiping her face with her hands. I stepped back from the female, who in turn a half smiled at me. I heard footsteps approaching and turned to see my father exiting from Bella's room.  
"How is she?" I questioned my dad as soon as he was close enough.  
"She's going to be fine, just stress and an anxiety attack that's all. Hello Alice." Replied Carlisle looking at the younger girl. She looked at the doctor and waved, then looked back down.

"Can we go see her?" Alice piped up, still looking at the ground. The doctor nodded and aloud us into Bella's room. I stopped outside her room, seeing someone was already in there. Bella was crying again and shaking her head. The boy she was talking to held her hand, but was saying something to her.  
"What's making her so upset with Jacob in there? He should be calming her down, not just holding her hand. I should be holding her." I whispered the last one, placing a hand on the window, lowering my head. Alice just sighed and knocked on the door before entering. Looking into the room, I noticed Jacob had let go of Bella's hand and was now standing away from her. Looking up at Alice as she entered, he said something then walked out of the room. This brought a whole new set of tears to Bella's face.

As Jacob left the room, he took one look over at Bella for one last time before leaving. I followed him as he walked down the hallway. His walk didn't have the same vibe as it usually did. Whatever happened in that room was no good for Bella or him. I actually felt sorry for him.  
"Hey, Jacob wait up man." I yelled after him. The copper head boy turned around and did a half smile at me.  
"Hey look thanks for bringing in Bella and everything. Now's just not a good time to be speaking to me." Jacob explained turning his back against me. Shrugging my shoulders I made my way back to Bella's room.

"…I don't know Alice. Right now isn't a good time to have a boyfriend. I need to be there for Charlie and Phil. Imagine how they feel. I don't need any distractions." I heard the end of their conversation just as I was about to knock on the door. _So she broke up with Jacob… Huh._ I thought to myself, knocking on the door.  
"Come in." I heard Bella yell out slightly.  
"You're looking much better now." I stated to the beautiful girl lying on the bed. She smiled in return. The first time I have seen her smile since being in this hospital. Alice looked between us, I saw her clench her fists a little.

"I have to go now. You make me sick Bella, you really do." Alice said, grinding her teeth and she stormed right out of the room.  
"What the hell was that all about?" I asked, jumping out of the way of the angry pixie. Bella let out a sigh shrugging her shoulders.  
"So, how are you feeling? I could guess you feel almost at home, being in the hospital after your second day here. It's funny you know, you have never broken a bone but you were always so clumsy. The most you have gotten is a sprained wrist!" I exclaimed to the pale girl laughing a little. Bella laughed a little too before turning serious.

"You and I need to talk, about last night. Alice told me about everything you told her. I did love you. I really thought that maybe you could see that. But it was too late, I was with Jacob. Now I have broken up with him, I don't think I am ready to love again. Not you, not Jacob and certainly not anyone else. You can wait for as long as you want Edward, but I don't know when I will be ready. Don't wait as long as I did for you. Move on, that's what I told Jacob to do and that's what I am telling you to do now." The brunette stopped talking, swallowing hard. The room was silent before I got up from the chair I was seated on, went over to Bella, taking her hand in mine, then kissed her on the temple.  
"For you Bella, I would wait twice as long. But that would only hurt you. Therefore I will try and move on, but I can't guarantee I will. All I can do is try. Goodbye Bella, I love you." I sadly said, walking away from the one good thing I had in my life.

Exiting the room was possibly the hardest thing I could think of. I walked, shuffling my feet across the floor, taking no notice of anyone around me.  
"Oh I am so sorry darl! I didn't even no- Edward? Is that you honey?" I heard a female voice say after bumping into my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Alice's mother looking into my eyes, her own eyes filled with tears.  
"Hello Miss Cullen, here to see Bella?" I asked, trying to put a smile on my face.  
"Well I was coming to see your father but then saw Charlie and Alice out in the cafeteria so I asked what brought them here. Then they told me about Bella and her mother… oh how horrible for Bella. Now I am just going to see her." The woman replied in her angelic voice. _No wonder my dad's banging her. _I thought taking in her looks. She was quiet pretty to be honest.

I nodded and moved out of her way. I wish that I hadn't fucked everything up.

**Okay, so now we know what was going on with Bella. She had a little anxiety attack, but Carlisle just wants to make sure she is a-okay before leaving hospital. I hope you enjoyed a little bit of Edward point of view… this won't be the last one. Anyways, BELLA's SINGLE! Wowzers… anyways, make sure you tune into the next chapter... when I get around to writing it. Oh and merry Christmas everyone. : 3**


	7. I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

**Me: Okie do-  
Bella: We are back! Weew, sorry about our short disappearance…  
Edward: Yes… Bella had to –ahem- prove her love to me...  
Me: AND IT TOOK YOU THAT LONG?  
Bella: Hey, we are vampires…. Speed is great…  
Me: Well would you like to introduce the next chapter?  
Edward: Sure why not… dinosaurs-rawr-you doesn't own anything.**

**I'm dreaming of a White Christmas**

**BPOV**

When I woke up the next morning, everything the previous day had seemed to be a dream, or a nightmare that I wasn't waking up from. I was still hooked up to the machine and still in hospital, but secretly I was hoping I had been my clumsy self and tripped over something that wasn't there. I tested this theory by moving each part of my body. Nothing but the ache in my heart. Sighing, I turned on my side and was greeted by my best friend's face, fully asleep but would wake in a moment at the sound of my voice

"Alice? I thought you left last night?" I asked her, her head popped up and she smiled at me.  
"Of course not silly, I just said that because you needed rest. How are you today? Do you want food?" Alice politely smiled at me. At the mention of food, my stomach ached a little but I didn't feel like eating at the moment.  
"No, no food, just can I see dad? Please? Alice, I had a nightmare last night… about mum… is it true?" I asked my friend hoping it wasn't. She winced at me when I mentioned my mother, and I couldn't help it. Tears started flowing as quickly as a river down my face.  
"Shhhh, sweetie shhh. Calm down, it's alright, I'll get Charlie and I'll get you some hot chocolate. Bella, I am here for you, whatever you need. That's my duty." Alice tried to calm me down, but the tears kept on rolling. Giving up momentarily, the young pixie-like girl stood up and went outside, only to return moments after with the police chief of the town and my dad.

No words were needed for our relationship, not even now. Charlie came straight over to me and just hugged me. This was the closest I had felt with my dad in a long time. It was probably the only time that he knew exactly why I needed him. I wrapped my arms around him and they felt warm and welcoming, like all father's arms. He stroked my hair and just rocked me slightly to calm me down. It amazingly had this instant effect, and after a few moments, we pulled apart. I frowned at my father's wet patch on his shirt.  
"It will be alright, I have plenty more. Are you alright Bells?" my father's soft and soothing voice made me feels so better and calmer. I simply nodded at him. Moments later Dr. Carlisle Masen came in.  
"She should be free to go after you sign these discharge papers, Chief Swan. Are you feeling alright today Isabella?" the blonde doctor asked. I nodded in response as Charlie gave the clip board back to Carlisle.  
"Well then, you're free to go. Be sure to check in if you're feeling worse and we can see what we can do. Take care." Carlisle dismissed himself back into the corridor.

The last two months were a complete and utter blur. Mum's funeral was blurring itself from my memory; I was still hoping it was a bad dream. Jacob and Edward were both there, but only to console their families or my dad. Neither of them talked to me for a long time, only to simply offer their condolences. They didn't even hug me, while it was appreciated; I still missed both of them immensely. I didn't eat for a good three days after coming out of the hospital. I spent most of it sitting in my room and just crying. I had constant nightmares apparently for the whole two months. I suspected they were the same each night that I was having now. Losing everything and everyone I ever cared about and not being able to do a damn thing about it. This is what scared me the most about the dreams. Hopelessly watching as everyone turns to ash in front of me. The last to go always was Edward. Charlie had ran into my room when I was screaming out his or Edward's name and wake me up, but even then the night mares continued. The only thing that kept me san was going to school and keeping that basic routine happening.

That was until the Christmas holiday period started. No school and it snowed for most of the time while I was on the break. Christmas was the worst of all the days at home. I had to stay at Charlie's because legally he was my only relation even though mum had married Phil. The whole concept was weird, I hadn't spent Christmas with my dad in ages and all of sudden I was in the kitchen preparing the food.  
"Bella, why don't you let me help you?" my dad asked. I shook my head and sighed  
"Dad, you burn water. I would like to eat today instead of getting the charcoal off the roast." Feeling defeated, Charlie went back to the sofa where he was watching the TV. I was heavily absorbed in my preparation that at first I didn't hear the phone ring right beside me. It was only when dad asked if I was going to answer it.

"Hello?" I answered the ringing telephone  
"Bella? Is that you? It's Edward here. How are you? Merry Christmas to you." The male voice sounded on the other end. _Why is Edward calling me on Christmas for Christ's sake.  
_"Oh hi Edward, yeah it's me. I'm alright just cooking dinner. Merry Christmas to you too. Is there something I can help you with?" I asked, irritated now that I couldn't even try and enjoy Christmas without my nightmare calling me.  
"Uh yeah there is. Dad's cooked us dinner here but he underestimated how many he was feeding and was wondering if you and your father would like to join us. Alice's family is here as well and Jasper is too. Rose and Emmett should be coming soon as well. I would really like to see you, and so would everyone else." That last part was almost a whisper but I pretended that I heard it perfectly. I really did miss Alice, Jasper and the other two, but to spend Christmas with Edward as well… was I prepared for that?  
"Yeah, okay. My cooking wouldn't be half as good as your dad's if I remember correctly. I'll just get dad off the couch and we will be over in a few minutes okay. See you soon Edward." I replied, deciding I couldn't hide from him forever. I was already avoiding him in the hallway, as well as Jacob for that fact.  
"Okay, see you soon Bells." He replied cheerfully. The use of our childhood nickname startled me before I hung up the phone. He hasn't called me that since… well since we were ten years old and feeling fearless.

I smiled, _maybe we didn't have to be lovers or a couple. Maybe all we had to be was friends for my nightmares to stop. _I thought to myself, turning the oven off and wondering over to wear Charlie was sitting.  
"Hey dad, the Masen's have invited us over for dinner. Carlisle's cooking is much better than mine. Plus everyone is there." I told him rather then ask him. He just shrugged and got off the couch.  
"Suppose I should put something nicer on then my track pants and jumper? You might want to think about changing too sweetie." He said, looking down at what were both wearing, almost matching outfits.

Moments later we were in dad's normal car heading to the Masen's house for a nice warm Christmas with friends. Charlie had changed into a pair of jeans and a blue shirt that mum had brought him. I changed into a pair of jeans, my Christmas top and my red vans that mum got me. In our own ways, we still both had something that reminded us of mum and that's obviously how we liked it. The trip took no more than five minutes, but in those five minutes I had calmed myself down to see Edward and the others. Driving up the drive way, my heart starts to beat faster and faster. I took a deep breath as I exited the car. Last time I was here, Edward had confessed his love and I spent the night with Jacob Black thinking only of Edward. Those were the happier times of my life… well until that night I suppose. We walked up the steps before the front door and I pressed the button to announce our arrival. To my relief, Carlisle answered it.

"Welcome and merry Christmas Swan family! Please, please come in. Let me take those jackets. The rest of the guys are in there and Chief Swan, the real men are in the lounge room over there." The very good looking doctor said. He was dressed as if he was out of one of those Christmas specials where they show a perfect family celebrating Christmas. He sure looked the part too. He wore a pair of light grey pants and a white button shirt. His smile was genuine and I knew why I had liked him so much. He was one of those people that were a genuine human. You could tell if he was sad or upset by just looking at his face. He didn't hide his emotions. Charlie shook his hand and handed over the bottle of wine that we grabbed from the kitchen before leaving. Carlisle accepted it and proceeded to lead Charlie to the lounge room. That left me awkwardly standing the exact spot where Jacob and I first kissed.

"Isabella Marie Swan, is that you?" I heard a familiar voice call from the other lounge room the Masen's had.  
"Yes Alice Mary Cullen, it is I, you're long lost friend." I yelled back at her, already making my way through the house to her. I could still recall all the memories of this place from when I was younger. I only wished I could have smiled but every memory was one that hurt because of how things used to be. I turned one last corner before smacking into something as solid as a brick wall. Before I could even regain my balance I found myself on the floor.  
"Why am I so fucking stupid?" I cussed to myself, but clearly the person I had smacked into was still there, chuckling to themselves.

I looked up, prepared to glare at whoever it was laughing at my expense. I was not prepared as to who it was.  
"Why am I the one you always bump into Bella?" he laughed, offering his hand to pick me up. I looked at him and then to his hand and begrudgingly took it.  
"I don't know, but you really are a pain in my arse. Literally." I said, rubbing my arse as I got up. This caused more laughing. I snatched my hand away before walking into the 'kids' lounge room.  
"Oh come on Bella, I was only playing with you." He said, coming after me. _Yeah, like you haven't done that before. _I thought bitterly as I found my best friend.

"Hey little miss sunshine. You seem awfully bright today." Alice joked to me, which just got a glare in return. The pixie girl winced at my reaction. _What do you expect someone who has to be in this shitty town for Christmas? _I lingered on that last thought, it's not anyone's fault that my mother died, so why should I treat them as bad as I have.  
"Sorry Alice, shit year you know?" I apologised to Alice, who seemed to have forgiven me without words, instead gracing me with a hug and a present.

The wrapping was brilliant and it looked like it had been done professionally, but I knew Alice's skills too well to know that she did it. It wasn't a huge box or anything like that, just a simple jewellery box. I unwrapped the intricate wrapping and it revealed a brown cardboard box. Lifting the lid I found inside a gift that said Alice all over it. It was a silver necklace with a thin chain; the pendant was light blue diamond in the shape of a heart. The colouring of the pendant was very significant as it was not only my favourite colour but my mum's too. This started a flow of tears, which proceeded to another hug from Alice.  
"It's so beautiful Alice, thank you. I haven't got you anything though." I frowned at my lack of gift. Alice just shook her head.  
"I don't want anything, I just thought you might want something special. Here I'll put it on you." Alice said as she started to take the necklace out of the box.  
"I've got it Alice." I heard a voice say from behind me, this made me jump a little. Without hesitation, Alice handed it to the figure behind me. His warm hands felt nice against my neck, and he was so careful to pull my hair from my back.  
"Thanks Edward" I said as he clasped my necklace and pulled my hair back into place.

I turned around, expecting him to be right there, but he was already walking to the lounge. _What the fuck is with this boy? _I was so confused towards his actions and then reactions to what I had said. Alice must have seen my expression and looked at Edward. Leaning towards my left ear, she whispered  
"He still loves you Bella, but he knows that you and him have no chance until your ready again." I looked at my best friend then to Edward again. Maybe Alice was correct, how I could know… I never pay attention to anyone any more. I didn't even notice the other people in the room until this realisation.

"Rose, Emmett and Jasper! Oh how good it is to see you properly now." I exclaimed, engulfing each of them in hug. Yeah, it wasn't a full happy hug but it was a hug none the less. I was still in my grieving stages, no emotions except tears really.  
"You were gone mentally for a while Bella, glad to see your_ all_ here with us." Jasper replied after the hugging rounds.  
"Kids, dinner is ready!" I heard Carlisle yell from the kitchen. As if on cue, I heard my stomach growl too.  
"Guess we're not the only ones hungry" Alice teasingly said, pointing at my stomach, I laughed a little and proceeded towards the door.  
"Bella, wait up." I turn around and see Edward now behind me, _man he can move fast.  
_"I am glad you decided to come tonight. My father wanted you and your dad to be here so he could announce some important news." Edward stated to me when everyone had left for the kitchen. I looked at him  
"Is that all you wanted to say to me? I'm a hungry woman Edward, you don't mess with that." I spat at him, instantly regretting it when I did. Edward looked hurt and disheartened.  
"There was something but don't worry about it. I'll talk to you when you've fed the bitch." He spat back at me. This time, I felt hurt and I did not like it one bit. Why did I have to be such a bitch to the one person who probably cared about me the most? Oh that's right, I lost all feeling lately. I sighed and went to apologise, but he was already gone.

_Stupid stupid stupid. _I thought, lightly slamming my head on the wall. I was so stupid as to be a bitch, and I couldn't get over it as I walked through the grey hallways to the kitchen. Here was the place where I first actually knew Edward and fell in love with him. Yes I was only eight at the time, but I knew I wanted to marry him then.

_Flashback_

_Soft music was playing in the background, coming from the baby grand piano. A young girl with brunette curls sat on the floor, just listening to the notes he played so naturally. She thought it wasn't fair that people like him had a natural talent.  
"Edward, teach me please? I want to learn and play just like you." Stated the young girl to the bronze haired boy playing. He looked up and smiled at the girl.  
"Well come on then, come sit with me and I'll teach you." He replied, patting the chair next to him. Eagerly the girl ran up to the boy and sat in the place where his hand was.  
"What would you like to learn? I know Claire da Lune by a guy named Debussy." Edward asked the young girl. She nodded and watched as Edward's fingers traced the black and white keys with such ease.  
"How am I to learn when you don't teach?" the girl laughed teasingly to Edward. Edward just shrugged and continued playing. The girl paid a great deal more attention the second time he played. By the fourth time, the girl asked Edward if she could show him now. Edward stopped playing and pointed to the piano.  
"Go ahead then Bella, show me what I have taught you." The little girl sat up and started to play, not as connected as Edward, but she got all the notes right._

"_Now you have to learn to connect the notes with each other. How about we do that another day? I'm bored let's see if mummy is baking a cake that we can help with." Edward hopped up from the stool and ran over to the kiotchen. Bella followed after closing the lid of the piano.  
"Hey kid, want to help me clean up the dishes." The red-headed lady said to the kids. Both Bella and Edward beamed and nodded with excitement. The red-head gave them each a beater to lick. Bella accepted it graciously while Edward just took it without another word. Bella was busy licking her beater when Edward wiped something on her face._

"_Edward! I'm going to get you back!" Bella squealed in delight.  
"Not if you can't catch me." The young boy ran off into the backyard. Bella placed her beater on the bench and ran after him, squealing and giggling all the way.  
"You can't catch me ner ner ner ner." Edward taunted Bella, not realising that Bella knew his favourite hiding spot and was waiting for him there.  
"Gotcha!" Bella giggled as she wiped the chocolate from her face onto his arm.  
"Not fair!" Edward exclaimed before licking it off. Bella just rolled her eyes, and Edward sat down next to her.  
"Bella, sit down with me and we can pick the daises." Edward said, patting the spot next to him. Bella sat down next to the boy and started picking the daises._

"_Bella, why do you think old people like my mummy and daddy give each other flowers and kisses on the lips?" Edward asked the young girl. She sat there in silence, thinking to herself.  
"I don't know Edward, why don't we ask your mum?" she suggested. Gathering a few more flowers before going back to the house, Edward asked his mother the same question.  
"Well Edward, when a man and women like me and daddy love each other, we show it by giving each other gifts, like flowers and kisses." She explained to the children.  
"So if I gave Bella these flowers, would that mean I loved her?" her son inquired, causing the women to laugh.  
"Love is something that grows into a beautiful flower Edward. When you meet the right girl to give flowers too, then you love her." His mother answered him.  
"I love Bella though, she is the nicest kindest girl I know besides from you mummy!" exclaimed Edward. Besides him, Bella blushed, and not because of what he said, but because of what she felt. Love._

_End of Flashback_

Coming back to reality after the brief life flash I had was like coming back from a dream. A very pleasant dream at that. I looked around and saw that everyone was looking and waiting for me to take my seat next to dad and Alice.  
"Sorry, daydreaming again." I apologised as I took my seat, looking down at the floor. I raised my head as Carlisle said the words 'Dig in'. I froze, across from me was Edward and the flash back came racing back to me straight away, then the sudden realisation. _He really did love me back then…_ I almost choked on my breath after this.  
"Fur ball" my dad said from next to me. Clearly I wasn't getting a fur ball but it was just a joke in the Swan family when someone choked on nothing. I laughed a little before averting my attention to the food on the table. Carlisle really did think he was feeding an army. The table was full with three different roasts, roast potatoes, pea, mint peas, snow peas, carrots, cauliflower and other sorts of vegetables. They also had many sauces on the table too. As it was a holiday and I had the police chief's okay, there were also alcoholic beverages being passed around. I took a particular liking to the wine and also the beer. It was what I drank at parties so I was used to the bitter taste. The beer also made me less on edge and cheerful. I started to talk more with the people around me and laughing for real. I even caught Edward looking at me confused. I just smiled and raised my glass to him as in a truce. The whole dinner was lovely, I was stuffed before dessert. Luckily Carlisle had moved us into the big lounge room to play some games on the WII, which is always fun with a room full of tipsy people. There again, I caught Edward staring at me from the corner of the room. I waved him over to come join in and he just shook his head. Shrugging I just simply turned back to my game with Alice, and I was actually winning!

After an hour of game playing, dessert was ready. Eggnog replaced beer, so I just had to stay with the wine, but I stopped drinking anyway. Dessert was as divine as the main meal. Esme must have baked a fruit cake because that was the main piece on the table. Surrounding it was little truffles and rum balls as well as some custard and stewed apples. I was beginning to feel alive again with this group of people. They were my family as well as Charlie. We had grown up together and this felt like one of the old times, except Edward was missing his slut of the week, which made everything awkward. Nope, this year was slut free and it felt like it should have all those years, perfect. After everyone had finished with their dessert, Carlisle stood up and tapped hi glass with a spoon.

"A wise woman once said to me 'Carlisle, love is something that grows into a beautiful flower.' I gave that woman flowers and she married me and to this day I wish I could turn back time and change what happened that cold November night. Unfortunately I don't have a time machine, so that's impossible. What is possible is to learn how to grow that same flower in another person. I lived and I learned that for it to grow beautiful again, the other person must be willing to share their seeds with you and germinate. Luckily I found that person again, who happened to have the same flower bubbling in her body too. We had found each other and together our flower blossomed. Sure we have had our ups and downs and the flowers wilted, but in the end we have two beautiful flowers. It is on this very eve that I ask that lady for whom I have rekindled my flower to blossom beautifully again, to take this ring and marry me. Esme, my love, my flower and my light, will you marry me and grow a garden with me?" by the time Carlisle had finished his speech, Esme had tears in her eyes and I could feel my own running down my cheeks. His speech was beautiful and so thought out. Esme got out of her seat, wiping the tears off her face and just kissed Carlisle.

"Can I take that as a yes?" Carlisle asked, after they had separated from their passionate kiss. Esme smiled and just nodded in response, kissing Carlisle again. Everyone started clapping and wiping their own tears from their face. Hands were shaken and hugs were given, this truly was a beautiful Christmas, best ever.  
"So, now that's over and done with… kids I need two people to wash up?" Carlisle asked, as it was a tradition that two kids would wash up after Christmas every year when mum was with us. Feeling in the mood to be helpful I offered to do it.  
"Thank you Bella and who will help Bella?" Carlisle looked at the remaining teenagers. It was silent and I was about to say that I would do it on my own, when his voice piped up.  
"I'll help, got nothing better to do." Edward said raising his hand in assistance.  
"Good it's sorted then. Rest of us back into the big lounge room for some more Wii fun!" Emmett exclaimed like a little kid. One by one, people filed out of the kitchen and into where the Wii was set up.

'I'll clear the table if you get the water running?" I suggested to Edward who just nodded and started to fill up the sink. I gathered all the plates and glasses without spilling a single one on the floor which was impressive even for me. I did, however, manage to get custard on my pants.  
"Pass me a wet cloth please?" I asked Edward who was still facing the sink. Without even turning around he chucked me a soaking wet cloth, and the soap suds and liquid got all over my t-shirt.  
"Edward! I'll get you back for this!" I giggled at him. He turned around lifting one eye brow and smirking.  
"Oh will you?" he challenged me. I smiled and went over to the sink where he was standing. Looking confused he moved when I got there. It must have been a tense few moments because when I picked up a plate and started washing it, I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. I smiled to myself thinking I'll get him later. We worked in a sort of mechanical way, I washed he dried. Simple and easy, nothing could break this cycle.

"I remembered what my mother told my father during his speech. Did you?" Edward piped up after a little while. I froze in the middle of washing a glass and dropped it.  
"Fuck!" I yelled out as I pulled my bloody hand out of the water  
"Ah fuck fuck fuckity fucky fuck. Could you get me some paper towel?" I asked Edward, who stood still for two seconds, then snapped out of it. He went to his cupboard and grabbed the roll of paper towel they had and gave it to me. I wiped my hands dry of the water and held the rest of the paper towel I had on my hand, it was only a few little cuts but they hurt like hell. I breathed in and out trying to calm my stomach which was going crazy due to the lack of excitement I have over blood. Edward, who was fine with blood, already started cleaning up the mess I had made and was running a fresh washing sink.  
"How can you stand there and just do more washing up?" I accused Edward who had finished filling up the sink. He looked at me and there was no smile.  
"Every time I try and help you, you spit it right back into my face Bella. I am sorry I didn't help you then but I honestly can't stand being treated like dirt. I am sorry your mum is dead I really am, but just realise this. I know what you're going through because I went through the same thing six years ago, remember? So don't try and act all high and mighty Bella. You aren't the only one constantly hurting." Edward screamed straight back at me.

I stepped back into the bench by his words. The kitchen was silent all you could hear were the shouts of triumph coming from the lounge room. Obviously they didn't hear any of this otherwise Charlie would have run straight into the kitchen to check on us.  
"I'm sorry Edward; you just caught me off guard. That's all. I understand you know what I am going through and I know what you're going through too because I was there for you when your mum died." I said, almost whispering, scared for another screaming match. I looked up at Edward's face and saw that his eyes had now softened although he could pounce at any time, I of all people knew that.  
"Let's get back to dish washing and Bella; let me do the washing and you the drying." He smirked at me as I rolled my eyes.  
"I still have to get you back don't forget." I winked at him and he put on a scared expression which made me smile. Edward had always been able to make me smile, no matter what. We returned to the same routine as before but switched rolls.

"To answer your question from before, yes I do remember what your mother said to you. That's what I remembered as I entered the kitchen tonight." I broke the silence and stopped drying as I waited for his reaction.


	8. If It Means a Lot to You

**Hi guys, sorry no Bella-Edward dialogue, got ideas need to write them now. Disclaimer: you have Stephanie Meyer to thank for the twilight series not me :L**

**If it means a lot to you**

It seemed like an eternity before Edward answered my statement; I had remembered the words his mother had said to him as an eight year old.  
"You know, I gave up piano soon after her death." He said, breaking the silence. I let out my breath, which I now realised I had been holding since say they words 'I do remember'. Edward passed me a plate, but I wasn't paying attention to drying the plate. Instead I was thinking what a waste of natural talent.  
"Why did you give it up Edward? You were so good, you even taught me." I smiled at the memory; now so clear in my mind it was like it was happening in my mind.

"I only taught you Claire da Lune by Debussy. I gave it up because I only played to keep mum happy when I knew she was dying before me. It's like the movie 'The Last Song'; don't judge okay, its quiet a moving movie. Anyway, I played to keep her happy. I tried playing after that night but I couldn't. I felt empty in side, like a piano with no keys." Edward finished explaining; never taking his mind offs his current task of washing the dishes. I was shocked to hear what he had said.  
"I still know it you know… Claire da Lune. I memorised everything you taught me that day." I softly said to Edward, scared that someone else might hear.  
"I'm glad you did Bella. I'm glad you could hold on to my child hood innocence when I couldn't and still can't." Edward said and it took moments to fully understand what he meant by that.

"Edward?" I asked the man besides me who was now drying his hands from the soapy suds.  
"When did you realise you loved me? Like when did it hit you?" I was met with silence. The one thing I was scared of happening. My heart raced and I thought I had blown this friendship we were patching up.  
"That day you learned how to play the piano, when I said I loved you Bella. I have never said those three words to anyone else since." Edward stated, putting the towel down on the bench and started to wipe it down. I didn't say a single thing. I didn't know what to say; in all honesty I was scared to let Edward in. What if he was lying to get a reaction from me? The only thing I could possibly do was change the subject completely.

"Edward, turn around." I said mischievously. As Edward turned around I aimed the nozzle of the hose at him and pressed it on.  
"Bullseye." I smirked to myself admiring my handiwork, one soaking wet Edward.  
"Very good Swan wasn't expecting that. Very good." Edward said, while walking towards me, smirking at my handiwork too. Before I realised what his true intentions were he grabbed the nozzle from my hand and sprayed me with cold water.  
"Edward!" I giggled as the water drenched my top half of my body. Edward stopped after something had caught his attention. I looked down and realised what had caught this male's eye.

"Oi, eyes up here Masen." I told him placing my arms over my chest, trying to hide my pink lacy bra I chose to wear under a white t-shirt. Edward laughed and raised one of his eyebrows at me. I tried to stay as composed as I could but I couldn't help but laugh at my stupid mistake.  
"Isabella Swan I think you need to think about underwear options next time. Pink is not your colour, more a black one instead." Edward winked at me and I blushed profusely. The next thing I realise is that Edward is removing his wet shirt now.  
"Whoa, hold on tiger we weren't even friends twenty seconds ago and now you're getting naked in front of me?" I accused the bronze-haired boy; he smiled at me cheeky like and proceeded to take his shirt off.  
"I just rather get wet things dry and they don't do that when I have them." He winked at me again, making me go redder in the face. Edward walked towards me and placed a hand on my face.

"You're so beautiful even with make-up running down your face." He stated, sliding his finger down my face, I shut my eyes. I shuddered with the connection but my face was red hot. I opened my eyes to look at the good looking man in front of me. _Bella, don't do it. He will hurt you, you have been drinking. Don't do it._ My conscience was right, I was drunk and he probably will hurt me. How many other girls does he say this too? I pulled back from his hand and he looked hurt.

"Edward, I can't… I'm sorry I have to go." I spluttered out before going into the lounge room.

**EPOV**

I can't believe that I just let her walk away without putting up a fight for her. I leant against the cold bench thinking long and hard about what just happened. Everything had been going right up until I had touched her face and called her beautiful. Isn't that what all girls want to hear? Sighing I grabbed my soaked shirt and tossed it in the laundry, then went upstairs into my room to blast some 'A Day To Remember', our favourite band. I wanted everything to go back to what they were like before. I wanted my mother back and I wanted my Bella back to her normal self. It pained me to see her so broken and messed up, but I know what she's going through because I was her not so long ago. I lay there on my bed for what seemed hours before my eyes gave in and I fell asleep.

If I had dreamed last night it would have been of Bella and how beautiful she was, but alas, I didn't dream. I couldn't fall asleep properly because she was all that was on my mind. I ran through our conversations from last night. They all were disconnected, the things she said. Was she playing with my feelings or was she just not ready? The way she pulled away from my hand and then leaving, so quickly and still she was joking with me a few seconds before that. Had I scared her into thinking I was pushing her to be with me? When the sun started to spill through my curtains I opened the window that led to the forest behind my place. Tranquillity was what I needed and wanted, and in this forest I knew of a place that offered this peace.

I went to my wardrobe and pulled out my track pants and a grey hoodie. Placing these items over my body, I walked back to the window and climbed out of it. The ground was solid and cold, but my feet didn't mind so much. I looked around to see if anyone else was awake but all curtains on my side of the house were pulled closed. _Good_ I thought as I started to walk away from the house. My feet started to pick up the pace after I was several metres from the house. I kept getting faster and faster, as though running would release me from the thoughts of Bella. I got into the forest and picked up my pace to full speed. Out here in the forest was where I felt most at home to my thoughts. The only people that knew them were the trees and the birds. I felt safe and sound here.

Running through the forest I ran the familiar route to the spot I felt most at home. Turning around the last corner and jumping over a fallen log I ran into the open space. The lush green grass spread to the edge of the forest in a huge circle, this was the only area of the forest that wasn't clustered with trees for some reason. In the area bloomed a beautiful flower that I didn't know the name of? It was a blue flower with buds that looked like bells and on one flower you could count anywhere between five and ten individual little buds. No matter what time of the year, the grass was always so vibrant and lush. I dreamed of taking Bella here one day, maybe to ask her to marry me. Those dreams were shattered, I realised only now, when I started fooling around with other girls. What a fool to think I could get her off my mind by doing that. Sure I didn't love any of the girls as much as I loved Bella, but isn't that what makes girls so fond of guys? Being jealous that other girls are with him. Clearly not as I could see now.

I looked around at this familiar place and imagined what made this place so isolated to the rest of the forest. I could hear the birds chirping a tune that sounded bittersweet and no snow had touched the grass. I walked over to wear I usually sat and saw that nothing had changed since being here last time. I don't know why I come here with nothing to do, not even a sketch pad to draw how beautiful the flowers looked. I suppose if I had something to do, it wouldn't be running here. So I just say on the grass and thought about everything. About Bella, about my mum, about my dad and about my friends, and how I had left each of them behind in one way or another. Was I really that vain that I thought I needed no one in my life? I needed them back in my life and I had no clue how to do it. All I was certain was that, without them, I might as well stay here for the rest of my life.

**BPOV**

I had never had such a restless night. Everything that Edward and I had shared with each other last night was all I could think about. I wasn't ready to be with him like that, but I did miss our friendship and how innocent we used to be. Life was easy and simple back when we were eight; why couldn't it be when we were nearly eighteen? Sighing, I got up out of my bed and went into the bathroom which I shared with my dad. It wasn't big like the one I had in mum's house but it was just right for both of us. I looked at the mirror and the girl looking back at me was pale and still had last night's make-up on. I turned the tap on and washed it all off. I still looked very pale but that was just my complexion. I ran my hands through my hair which was still damp from last night.

The knocking on the bathroom door disrupted my thoughts.  
"Bella, are you in there? Could you please hurry up… your dad does have to earn some money somehow." I heard Charlie call from the other side of the mahogany door.  
"Yeah, just a minute dad, let me just get my clothes for the wash." I lied so easily to him. I heard footsteps stepping away from the door. Looking around, I realised I should probably do some washing any way. I gathered the clothes on the floor and opened the door. Charlie looked just as bad as I did this morning.  
"Good morning sweetie. Sleep well did us?" my father said, looking at my face teasingly. I laughed and nodded in response.  
"Of course Chief Swan, how about you, how are you feeling this morning?" I answered back. This got me a look of 'don't ask I'd rather not tell' I laughed and walked pass him to the laundry. The door closed behind me and I sighed again.

Last night was fun and I felt as though I really opened up again to my friends and my 'family'. That was until me and Edward was left alone in the kitchen to clean up. Was I too harsh then all of a sudden started being nice and funny? Did I confuse the poor boy into thinking that I wanted to be with him then and there? Why did I even open my mouth about when we were eight… it's the past and that's where I should stay. Unfortunately, with Edward and Alice becoming step siblings, I will probably be bombarded with memories when I go to Alice's now.

I dumped the dirty clothes into the washing machine and spun the dial to do a normal wash. I walked back to my room, closed the door and sat on my bed. I tucked my knees under my arms and broke down into tears.

Why was I so god damn stupid?

**Short chapter yes I know. This was more a reflection chapter and now we wait and see what happens at the wedding and stuff like that :3**

**Thank you for reading and I shall start writing the next chapter now boys and girls :) catch xox**


	9. Pretty Hides the Ugly

**Hey guys, sorry about the short chapter but it was filler really. I just needed to get those thoughts out of my head and into Bella and Edwards. Any who this will be a long chapter as it will contain the WEDDING yay! (There will be a slight month jump but I won't leave any important details out ;) ) So enjoy kids :) WARNING: WILL CONTAIN LEMON you've been warned.**

**Pretty Hides the Ugly.**

**BPOV**

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! _  
I was startled awake to the sound of my alarm. I looked at the clock and saw that it was seven o'clock. Did I really sleep that long yesterday? I remember getting up and putting clothes in the wash, but that's about it. I still felt exhausted though after almost twenty-four hours of sleep. My whole body felt stiff from the excess sleep. Wanting to stretch them out I sat up in my bed and stretched each individual muscle I could, then I got up, stretching my leg muscles as I did. I checked the calendar on the way out of my room and sighed quietly to myself.

_Only three days to goo Bella._ I thought to myself for when school would start again. It was New Year's Eve day which meant that Charlie and I would probably not see each other until the New Year again. I walked into the bathroom and undressed myself. Once that had been done I turned the shower taps on. My whole body felt dirty and my hair felt greasy. Is this what people felt like on 'Survivor'? Laughing to myself, I stepped into the shower. The hot water was welcoming to my cold dirty body. I stood in this position for a couple minutes before snapping myself back into reality. I washed my body and my hair. I shaved my legs and underarms before washing the conditioner out of my hair. I felt alive again after my shower, like I had actually woken up properly. This was a feeling that could never be taken away anytime soon, I liked to think that was true.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my towel around me. Wiping the mist off the mirror I looked at my face. I still looked like myself, but deep inside this brunette girl was a heart that ached for the bronze-haired boy and the other part longed for the copper-head boy. The last part of my heart knew I wasn't ready for a relationship because I still grieved for my dead mother. I take myself back to Christmas Day and that night, how me and Edward had acted around each other. I'm surprised I didn't get diagnosed with bi-polar disease by Carlisle that night. I was a mess, emotionally and physically, I thought looking back to the girl in the mirror, to see her staring back at me.

"Stop being so self-centered Bella. It looks ugly on you." She said to me. I was shocked to hear myself being called self-centered but it was true. I had been only concerned about my feelings and no one else's. I had no clue what Jacob was doing now and as for Edward… well I think he got the message loud and clear but it still would have hurt him.  
"There you go again, thinking the whole world revolves around you. You really are a selfish bitch." My reflection said to me. I glared at it but knew deep inside my thoughts were correct. It hurt to realize this but I had to change and soon.

I walked back to my room where I looked in my wardrobe and put on a pair of skinny leg jeans, my converse, a white short-sleeved blouse and a denim jacket with a hood. I went over to my bed-side table and checked my phone. I had a new message from Alice. Opening up my phone I also saw I had a Facebook notification. _Check that later Bella. _I thought to myself as I read the message from Alice.

_Hey! Your coming over tonight okay.  
I've got clothing for you to wear so don't need to worry  
I'll see you at 5:30 kay. Others will be here too.  
Love you xo- A_

I shook my head at this crazy pixie. Of course she and Edward would be having a New Year's party at their place. It was weird saying their place though, but I suppose Alice did move in a couple of days after Carlisle and Esme's engagement on Christmas night. It was quiet the speech to ask her to marry him although it was beautiful in every way.

I looked at my clock and saw almost an hour had passes since I got up. As if on cue, my stomach growled at me, telling me it had to have food in it now. Laughing at my body, I walked downstairs were it was still dark because Charlie didn't open the curtains before leaving for work today. I went into the kitchen where I opened the curtains over the sink. Making my way round and out of the kitchen, I opened the ones in the lounge room and dining room, finally opening the ones in the TV room. The house instantly lit up and it made for a much lighter mood to the dreary weather outside. Snowing as usual, even though the sun shone through the clouds it was still cold. I returned to the kitchen and got the toaster out. While I was hungry, it wasn't like I was starving so I popped two pieces of bread and pushed them down so they would cook. I watched the clock eagerly awaiting for my toast to be ready. _POP! _My toast had popped. I got it out of the toaster and onto a plate where I place peanut butter on it and I poured myself a glass of orange juice and sat down to enjoy my meal. After I had breakfast I went back upstairs, wondering what I could do with myself before five thirty that night.

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

It had just reached 5:30 when I got to Alice's new place. Sure it wasn't anything different to her old place but it wasn't just her place. It was also Edward's place, which made it feel weird that I was there in the first place. What made it feel weirder still was the fact that a half-naked Edward answered the front door when I rang it.  
"Hey Bella, come in. Alice is upstairs in her new room." Edward causally said as I stood there, bright as a tomato, trying not to gush over Edwards's beauty. Keeping my head down I nodded and went up to where I presumed Alice was.  
"There you are, was worried you didn't get my text message because I got nothing back. How are you? How was the rest of your Christmas? Why was the kitchen a mess on that night…" The last question was almost a whisper but I pretended not to hear it.

"Yeah sorry, my body was hungry. As for the rest of Christmas, it was uneventful though. You kept me entertained telling me stories of you're moving in process. Can't believe that your mum and Carlisle are getting married in.. what April? It's like they already planned the wedding before he asked her." I said giving my best friend a hug. Alice just laughed in response and returned to her bed. I followed her over to the bed.  
"So when is my make-over starting?" I asked her sarcastically. She smiled at me.  
"Well, I suppose I'll have to start soon if I want to be done up as well." This reply scared me. How much was she planning on doing with me for tonight.  
"Uh Alice, who else is going to be here…?" I question, unsure and scared of her response.  
"Oh just a few people from school. You know, like Rose, Emmett, Angela… Mike… Jessica… Eric… Jacob… Lauren." I froze at that last name.  
"Lauren as in slut faced whore bag slept with Edward Lauren? Why Alice? And Jacob too? What the fuck did I do to deserve both of them here?" I yelled at the short girl.

"I didn't invite her or him… I'm not the only teenager in this house you know." Alice replied sheepishly back.  
"That little fucker." Was my reply as I knew Edward had done it to annoy me tonight. If he was so in love with me then why did he want to torture me.  
"Alice I can't believe I'm saying this, but make Jacob Black and Edward Masen wish they had me tonight." I told the pixie, who just beamed.  
"Challenge accepted. You are going to look smoking hot tonight." Alice winked at me as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bathroom.

"Okay now Miss Swan, I am going to put you through many pains tonight that will include your eye brows and waxing. You may have shaved your legs before but this will ensure perfect smoothness. First thing is first, I need you out of those clothes and into my bath robe. I'll be back in a few seconds." Alice said, exiting the room leaving me with her white bathroom robe. I quickly stripped off my clothing, leaving my underwear on and slipped the bath robe on. Alice was back in a few seconds holding something I was familiar with through my years of torture, her favorite weapon; her make-up bag.  
"Okay, now sit back and try and enjoy me making you look like a sex kitten." Alice said as she placed her bag down and got the wax strips out."

I sat through the pain of her waxing my legs and trimming my eye brows. I also sat as placed my mask for tonight on. It felt like she was putting on a lot of makeup but I knew my friend wouldn't have me looking like Lauren or Jessica. After she had finished doing my make-up she started on my hair. I still had my eyes closed, in fear of shock when I looked in the mirror. I could tell she was curling my hair with the way she sprayed hairspray and cursed to herself. This whole process took at least an hour I guessed. When I was told to open my eyes I was pleasantly surprised. The girl looking at me from the mirror was rather good looking if I say so myself. Her face was still pale like mine, but her lips were ruby red, her eyes lids and around her eyes were a smoky color and her cheeks had pink tinges on them. Her hair was curled into loose curls that draped over her shoulder, she had a couple of strands tied back out of her face but the rest of her hair was free flowing.

"You have done very well Alice. I couldn't have done this in an hour." I exclaimed, still half shocked with how I looked. Alice just smiled and asked me to turn around to face her. I did what I was told, no use arguing with her.  
"Yeah, I do a good job when given a blank canvas." She replied back, winking at me again. I shook my head.  
"Alright give me my dress then." I demanded in the friendliest possible way. Alice shook her head.  
"Not until you've got proper under garments on Miss Swan." She said, producing a lace bra that would make a prostitute blush and matching thong.  
"I am not wearing that. No way." I yelled, even though it was useless.  
"Well it's either wear these or go naked to the party. Your choice." The pixie teased me with my nightmare. I glared at her and placed my hand forward to grab the underwear.  
"Now my dress please Alice." I said, still displeased at her. Smiling in triumph, Alice walked out of the room and returned with a bag.  
"It's in there, come out when you're done and I'll give you the shoes to go with it." She said exciting the room again.

I looked at the lingerie and looked at the dress. The dress was a strapless dress that was above the knee. It had a corset like body but it frilled at the end a little bit like a tutu except the frills where also skin tight. On the body in the top center was a small bow. This was the perfect dress for tonight, I thought as I stripped down to my naked body. I put the lingerie on, trying to protest with myself. I slipped the dress on without any dramas except when it came to the zip.  
"Uh Alice! I need help in here please!" I yelled out for the small girl. A few seconds later I heard the door open. I turned around and was met with Edward Masen.

"You're not Alice… why are you in her room?" I accused him before he even had a chance to explain. He raised one eyebrow at me and shook his head.  
"Her room? That's funny, I've always thought that this was my room and my bathroom… You look like you need some help though. Turn around, I'm an expert at zips." Edward smirked at that last comment, causing me to roll my eyes.  
"Of course you are. How could I forget the many girls you probably have had in here." I spat back at him before turning around and lifting my hair away from the zip. He just chuckled as he walked up to me.  
"Wearing appropriate lingerie this time I see." He stated as I felt his hands on my bare back. My spine tingled with his touch. He didn't have to do anything to make me do that though. He just laughed again as he zipped my dress up.  
"There perfect, as is the wearer." He smiled politely before taking his top off.  
"Is this going to be an occurring theme whenever I see you?" I questioned looking at his naked upper half again.  
"Remember, you're in my bathroom here." He whispered in my ear, running his finger down my left arm.  
"I have to go, I'll see you later." I muttered before leaving the room. I could hear Edward laughing to himself as I left his bathroom.

_I'm going to kill Alice. _I thought gritting my teeth. I found my way to the other bedroom, which used to be used as the guest room but Alice had obviously claimed it as her own now she had moved in.  
"Alice Mary Cullen, you are going to be dead before the New Year starts." I accused her as I walked into the room. I had clearly interrupted her and Jasper because when I lifted my head I saw a half-naked Jasper lying on the bed with a naked Alice on top of him.  
"Never heard of the tie on the door or even closing it before you get your groove on?" I asked a little taken aback with what I had seen. Alice just blushed and Jasper looked like nothing had happened.  
"Well next time you want to join all you have to do is ask." He winked at me, causing me to laugh and shake my head. Alice had now gotten off Jasper and was now in the bathroom getting ready.  
"Bella, may I say you look hot tonight. Like really hot. Alice did a good job, you'll be lucky to get the guys off you." Jasper winked at me before raising himself to sit up.

I stood there awkwardly as Jasper looked at me intensely, as though he wanted something from me.  
"You look so awkward standing there. Come, sit down on the bed, I don't bite. Well not you at least." He said smirking at the last sentence.  
"I'm glad our friendship is so need to know Jaz, I really am." I replied taking his offer to sit on the bed. He just laughed and went back to looking at me. I was half thankful when Alice came out of the bathroom. She looked stunning as usual and also very flawless when wearing heels.  
"Okay, I am all ready now it's time to get you finished up and Jaz, you need to get dressed as well babe." Alice announced as she produced a pair of heels. Man they were tall, and I had to wear them. I stared at Alice in shock as Jasper walked into the bathroom to get ready.

"Alice your trying to kill me aren't you? First you use Edward's bathroom then you put me in those? I would like to live through to next year." I laughed as she gave me the shoes. They weren't too bad, in a nude color with three bows on the front and lace sides. They really did suit the dress, so who was I to complain too much about what Alice had given me to wear.  
"Perfect fit as always." Alice simply beamed, happy with her choice of shoes and great guessing of my shoe size. I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked, like I always was after one of Alice's makeovers. This time is was a good kind of shock. I had to appreciate how hot I looked, not that I am one to be self-centered like that but seriously, I would make love to myself if I could tonight. I looked at the clock on Alice's wall, it was 7:30 and sure enough guests were soon to be arriving for a night that was not to be missed.

Walking out of Alice's room, I smacked into someone and would have fallen straight on to my arse if it wasn't for his quick warm arms catching me.  
"Seriously, is she trying to kill you?" his velvet sounding voice echoed through my ears. I still wasn't used to the idea of Alice and him living together but I had to accept that he would be always there in my life one way or another.  
"You really need to stop falling for me." His smirk on his face was evident in his voice. I looked up at him, his green eyes sparkling. I longed to kiss him, frustrated that I knew I had killed that opportunity at Christmas.  
"I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for you half of the time. Probably permanently in the hospital for some sort of accident prone ward." I joked back, as I wiped my hands on my dress, out of habit more than anything. Edward laughed as he let go of my arm. I felt vacant again, for the first time since my mother died. We stood there, in awkward silence until the familiar chime of the Masen's doorbell chimed throughout the house.

"That would be Rose and Emmett. I better go answer it." Edward said, breaking the silence between us. I nodded and just stared in the place were Edward was standing moments before.  
"Bells, are you okay?" Alice chimed from her room, peering out of her door. I just nodded again, still staring into nothing. What had just happened? Why did Edward make me so nervous? I shook the feeling off and smiled towards Alice.  
"Let the festivities begin." I announced as I walked down the stairs to greet Emmett and Rose. Rose looked me up and down and gave the thumbs up. Emmett got slapped for doing the same thing as well as whistling. I blushed profusely and thanked them for the compliments.

It wasn't long until most of the guests plus a few extras turned up and the New Year's party was in full swing. The only actual guest that I knew of still hadn't turned up and I was wondering if that was because of me. I was shocked to see that Mike and Lauren were still going out, but what I found even more shocking was that Eric was with Jessica. I had always thought he had a thing for Angela, the quiet girl in my sewing class. I shrugged and was turning around to get a drink when a warm hand slid around my waist. I was forced to turn around and look into the dark brown eyes of Jacob Black. It was probably the amount of alcohol that I had consumed already by that point or the fact that I was feeling a little flirtatious that night, but I allowed the music to move me into him and then into his scent.

"Well hey there good looking." Jacob greeted my warm energy, moving to the same rhythm as mine. We danced around for a while, me grinding against him and him touching all around my body. I grabbed more drinks in between dances, meaning I was getting drunker by every moment. I honestly had no care in the world. It continued like this for a few more dance until I felt Jacob pull my hand. He led me through the other people dancing and grinding against each other. I needed another drink againso I excused myself and Jacob nodded, kept walking out of the crowded room. I found the closest table with drinks on it. I went to grab myself a cup and poor another beer when hands caught mine, hand which helped me pour my drink.

"Why thank you tall dark and handsome, but I thought you were still walking out of the crowd." I giggled as I turned and faced who I thought was Jacob but instead it was Edward. His hand dropped from mine as he took the cup he had just poured for me.  
"If I had known you were with someone already, well I would have defienlty made a move to make you mine." A sly and flirtatious smile spread across his face as he gave me the. This was the Edward I had fallen in love with, the guy who I could easily joke and flirt with. I took a sip of my drink and put it back down on the table. Edward had place both his hands on the table, encircling my body. I put my hands through the gaps of his arms and wrapped them around his body, pulling him close and embracing him.

"You are so beautiful Isabella Swan you know that don't you?" Edward whispered into my ears. I hushed him and started to dance seductively around him and his body. His hands explored my body and I let him explore it. Someone walked up beside us and it wasn't until I heard his angry voice that it clicked that I was previously with Jacob Black that night.  
"You little slut. I was waiting for you, you know. To come out of your stupid trance thing you had when your mother died, and I thought the way you were acting with my tonight that you were out of it. Turns out that you are with fucking Masen and were just playing with my emotions. Fuck you." He barked towards Edward and me.  
"Mate, she isn't with either of us, trust me. You need to calm down and—" I didn't hear what Edward had to say after that because Jacob had swung a punch smack bang into Edwards face, knocking Edward to the ground.  
"You know what, she's all yours. She is weak and frigid, you deserve her you fucktard." Jacob spat at Edward who was holding his face on the ground.

"What the fuck Jacob?" I snapped at him. "That was totally unnecessary you jealous prick. Even if I was with Edward you think you would actually know you delusional piece of crap. Seriously get a hold of yourself." I yelled at him. He cowered back from the insults but then looked at me with red in his eyes. I thought I Was going to be slapped any second the, before Emmett and Jasper intervened.  
"Mate, I think it's time you left. For everyone's sake" Emmett said calmly to Jacob, holding back his arms, like a cop would when arresting someone. Jacob struggled for a little bit before giving up. He glared between Edward, who was still on the floor, and me. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes by then. I had acted like a slut and Edward had been punched because of it. I still loved Jacob and knew I had hurt him bad, but I knew deep in my heart I still loved Edward. How could I be so stupid in trying to please them both?

In an instant, I ran off, to the safest place I knew in Edward's house, the attic. I shockingly made it up all the flights of stairs even in my drunken state. I knew no one would find me here. The only person who knew of the amount of room there was up here was Edward… Oh Edward, how I loned to have him and when I could have him, I completely stuffed it up. Now I was a mess and I would spend New Years crying in an old dusty attic.

Moments that seemed like years passed before I heard someone coming up the stairs. I wiped my eyes, knowing that my mascara was probably already down my cheeks and my hair everywhere. At the moment I couldn't have really cared who came up the stairs. The attic door creaked open and I kept looking down. I heard his footsteps coming towards me, and I felt his presence as he sat down beside me, cradling me in his arms. He knew exactly what I needed at that time, just a friend's shoulder to cry on.

We must have stayed there for ages because the next thing I knew, I was waking up with Edwards strong arms wrapped around me. I looked out the window of the attic and the sun shone through. I didn't even see the New Year in, yet I couldn't have imagined it any more twistingly perfect.

**Yeah so I promised a Lemon and didn't deliver. I have come back to this chapter several times during the last two years (hence it final up date) simply because I couldn't decide what New Years would have brought. I do have to say, yes I know that Edward and Bella and Jacob for that fact aren't acting as they would in Twilight, but in all seriousness I like writing them like this. They are raw and powerful characters. Any who, I have already started next chapter and you will have to bare with me because that DOES include a lemon and the wedding (so yes jumping ahead about four months deal with it) Please read and review petals :) love sarah.**


End file.
